fair warning that i’ll be posting a lot about barely feeling ok and going into/recovering from surgery but i’ll try to CW as much as possible, and/or post under the same thread
anyway since june-ish my wellbeing started drastically worsening. last year i got diagnosed with endometriosis and was scheduled for excision surgery a month later, but i ended up at the ER before that unfortunately. I was bleeding out on the ER floor, but it ended up with getting yelled at and sent home, the doc there insisted i try hormones instead of surgery. I cancelled the surgery, although it’s the best method for management of the condition, and tried hormones. It’s been okayish-stable for less than a year, until it started getting worse. I can barely function now. So I’m going into surgery hopefully soon that will also involve excisions on my bowels and stuff most likely.
Today I’m going to start with daily oxycodone until I can get into surgery.
kinoko 🍓
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •kinoko 🍓
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •at the moment I can only feel like I can sit — just sit — only with TENS on my back.
my mom brought me some of her cooking and hugged me
i just want to be pampered atm. so tired.
kinoko 🍓
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •I feel like starting with tDCS for depression (actually chronic pain, but it’s targeted towards depression) helped me stay more relaxed, calm, and level-headed about the situation.
Will I have to suddenly upend my life and maybe postpone my dream job and studies? Very likely. It’s hard. I’m grieving. But after starting with meditation and tDCS, it’s easier to let go, let myself heal instead of push through, and resume when I’m better.
This pain isn’t psychological. But its chronic nature wears you down, exactly how water wears down stone. So I need to focus on regaining mental strength. At one point, I just realized that I crossed over a barrier. I realized that I gave up, that I was content with letting myself die, because I was just so very tired. So tired of fighting to live. And that’s when I realized that I need to work on my mindset as well. It’s not going to cure my pain, and I was reluctant to try treating depression because it was always presented in such a way that maybe, just maybe, there’s a psychosomatic component too. It’s just going to help me stay alive.
kinoko 🍓
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •kinoko 🍓
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •I forgot my tDCS device at home 💀 but it’s ok i’ll get to do it tomorrow
also i have a collection of all the IV pics throughout the years now
kinoko 🍓
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •kinoko 🍓
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •anyways my stomach is super weird rn too because of endo and now i’m only allowed to eat basically rice and certain veggies only but in pureed form
this kinda sucks ngl, at least before i could be happy about eating something tasty, i rly want an egg over rice at least or something 😭 and some spices… and eating has to be a whole ordeal now
i wonder if eating a cinnamon bun took me to the ER??
no regrets tho
kinoko 🍓
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •i’m in an an international endo support group/discord and people are getting all sorts of THC and CBD products for pain relief and i’m like ??????? we don’t have anything like that, this sucks
meanwhile docs will prescribe opiates left and right
when will people get over their fear of cannabis?
kinoko 🍓
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •I’m going for a stomach CT scan on tuesday because they think i might also have chron’s or something 🤡
i’m really worried atm about just losing 90% of the calories that i eat atm daily, trying not to think about it and i hope it won’t last
@vriska gang
kinoko 🍓
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •kinoko 🍓
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •I was also tested for gluten intolerance and it came back negative
I’m SO RELIEVED because i love pasta, foccacia, ciabatta, pastries… life would be way bleaker without it all
kinoko 🍓
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •- CT scan done
- MRI next week
- rapdily losing weight :blobcatPensive:
kinoko 🍓
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •doing slightly better, still sleeping like shit because of pain and i can’t take painkillers anymore, but various meds are keeping me functioning throughout the day. sometimes i even go for a walk or get to study. that’s not too bad.
going for an MRI tomorrow. all of my organs will be ultra-scanned
kinoko 🍓
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •woodland creature
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •this sounds awful. what is tDCS?
it sounds like your hormones are messed up. obviously oxycodone is not going to fix the underlying problem.
this might be informative
youtube.com/watch?v=OcLnosYVl9…
he has a few other videos about it as well
What Causes Endometriosis?
YouTubekinoko 🍓
in reply to woodland creature • • •@meowski tDCS is a transcranial stimulation method for the areas of the brain that usually have low electric activity in depressed people. it’s an alternative treatment for depression that’s proven to work just as well as, or better than, antidepressants without the side effects. It’s used in clinical settings and at home with devices like from Flow Neuroscience. I’m using it as a supplementary treatment for chronic pain and the depression caused by it.
The cause for endometriosis is unknown but estrogen and periods make it much worse, so the current treatment relies on keeping the symptoms under control: even stopping periods doesn’t make it go away, it may just make the symptoms better. Anyway, I have had this since I was 10, I was just diagnosed at a very late stage like most women, and I have always eaten very healthy, exercised a lot, until it became horrifically worse. Yes, last year I started hormone treatment because I was underweight from estrogen dominance, blood loss, and lack of progesterone. I’ve been at a stable weight now but the endometriosis has progressed. I’ve always avoided eating inflammatory foods, but I treat myself once in a while — the key is that you help yourself as much as possible to reduce the inflammation long term, but the endometriosis growths are going to cause inflammation by themselves.
The latest research and findings seem to suggest that endometriosis might have a bacterial and autoimmune component, but the research is very new and clinical trials are still underway for that treatment.
Animals are also found with endometriosis and the symptoms and issues have been documented by doctors since forever; it’s not a modern disease caused by inflammatory foods.
Right now it’s impossible to treat the root cause, and unfortunately very few doctors know how to perform surgery for it. Also, badly performed surgery will make the symptoms worse. Therefore it takes a ridiculously long time to get relief.
woodland creature
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •so you have a wire going into your brain that you can stimulate at will? this is wild.
hope it gets better for you somehow
kinoko 🍓
in reply to woodland creature • • •oh no, you just place electrodes on your head and the stimulation is so gentle that it ”encourages” those areas to be more electrically active, thus improving mood. it’s completely noninvasive and I feel like it’s helped. basically like TENS but for your brain
thank you, I hope so too. I’m just so tired
woodland creature
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •kinoko 🍓
in reply to woodland creature • • •woodland creature likes this.
woodland creature
in reply to kinoko 🍓 • • •i mean, take it as a grain of salt (like any medical advice). doctors do a lot of harm and some good- and modern medicine is particularly bad at treating chronic inflammatory conditions, auto-immune disease, and hormonal endocrine issues.
some of these diseases can be linked to environmental factors, and like you said about endometriosis, they don't really understand what causes it other than it's hormone related (but anything on the uterus is going to be hormone related on some level)
dr berg is a chiropractor if i recall. in fact i'm extremely skeptical of chiropractic care in general (had a negative experience with one and never went back) but i agree with his take on diet and nutrition.
dr barry is another one on youtube who is decent (he is an MD). i would check him out as well