📢 Official Announcement from The Shitpost Cloud Administration 📢
Greetings, Shitposters,
After much soul-searching, bottles of Adderall, and one truly disastrous brainstorming session in Mumble, we’re pleased to announce that The Shitpost Cloud™ is going public.
That’s right: your favorite Fediverse instance is merging with a SPAC in a reverse-merger transaction that will (probably) confuse regulators, terrify auditors, and baffle historians for decades to come. Upon completion, we will officially become:
🌩️ The World’s First Publicly Traded Dogecoin Treasury Firm 🌩️
Why Dogecoin? Because no other currency speaks so eloquently to our core values of retardation. This isn’t just treasury management—it’s shitpost-based fiscal destiny.
What this means:
- Upon merger close, The Shitpost Cloud Inc. (ticker TBD, but we’re lobbying hard for $NIGR) will tender an offer of $100,000,000 USD in convertible notes.
- These notes will be used exclusively to acquire Dogecoin for our corporate treasury, because that’s what real companies do now, apparently.
- Convertible noteholders may later exchange them for equity in The Shitpost Cloud, meaning you too can be part-owner of a Fediverse instance whose primary assets are racist jokes and a pile of DOGE.
Why we’re doing this:
- To secure the long-term stability of The Shitpost Cloud (and by stability we mean radical exposure to memecoin market cycles).
- To ensure every shitpost, shitposter, and shitposting-adjacent activity is underpinned by the finest crypto-backed balance sheet this side of the moon.
- To make sure nobody can ever say “shitposting doesn’t pay.”
What’s next:
- SEC filings (lol).
- Ringing the NASDAQ opening bell with a Shiba Inu in a business suit (not kidding).
- Eventually declaring dividends in DOGE, payable directly to your wallet if you can remember your seed phrase.
We thank you for your continued shitposting, your unwavering basedness, and your belief in the magic of a decentralized timeline where shitposting is forever, but fiat is temporary.
Together, we moon. 🚀🐕🌕
— The Shitpost Cloud Administration
P.S. Our lawyers made us add this: “This is not financial advice. It’s a shitpost. But technically, it’s also a corporate action. We don’t know either.”
oussy :0
in reply to Hoss “Cyber Jester” Delgado • • •