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I'm beginning to understand some of the frustrations that people acquire when they start getting older.
I used to just soak up sciency stuff. Not that I understood very much, but I felt like I understood "enough" to get some benefit out of it.
Anymore though...it just doesn't register. It's just words. The words don't have meaning anymore. It's like reading a dictionary in a foreign language or something.
And it's frustrating as shit. I *used* to be smart.
I'm trying very hard not to blame the *world* for my inability to grasp seemingly simple concepts, but man, it's hard.
Of course, there are other factors at play. Some of this stuff I would have probably learned in school, had these things existed way back in the last century. I have heart disease which lends itself handily to brain-fog.
On the other hand, as we watch the world fall to the same mistakes that our forebears made, I'm equally as frustrated by other people not grasping what I find to be obvious repeats of history.
The worst people have power. Has that always been the case? The dumbest people are destroying education; has that always been true?
I don't know, but I do know that I just don't have the brainpower to suss out the truth, and as one of eight-billion, I'm pretty sure that even if I *did* understand the truth, it wouldn't matter. Such a small voice screaming into the void will surely not be heard.
I'm tired. And I'm ready to be done with the whole mess. Nothing to see here.
Carving out our little corner of happiness and nurturing it, including helping others to nurture their's, sounds horribly selfish and like you're admitting defeat. Until you realise how the world would look if everyone did that.
@pathfinder I sure feel defeated; why not admit it? A billion drops of water may carve away a stone, but to the individual drops it's a waste of time.
Hell, I don't feel like I'm much help to even myself, much less anyone else. It's like when you're halfway done with a race and you realize that you're *last*, and that the other people are still moving faster than you, and that you will never ever ever get caught up. At that point, why bother running at all?
Unfortunately all true. But then sometimes you remember that you run for the joy of running and no other reason and that the race not only doesn't matter, but has never mattered.
@pathfinder 1/n Roknrol, did you ever get Covid? I did, and my body and brain have not been the same since. I feel like I aged 10 years, with brain fog & low energy being at the top of the list of negative symptoms. And I've been struck by how much of the sadness/despair I feel is related to not having the energy or capacity to more actively impact my environment like I used to be able to. (cont)
@pathfinder 2/n Engagement with others requires "spoons" I no longer possess. And I've learned that, because my age is 59, it means my lung and heart capacity will consistently diminish ~5% each decade if I don't take active steps to stop it from happening. I don't fear death, but I fear being in a diminished a powerless state, beholden to others for care in a society (USA) whose social safety net seems to be crumbling. (OK, some people are actively trying to destroy social services.)
@pathfinder 3/n The state of the world is often too overwhelming for me to hold all of it in my heart and mind. And I've never stopped thinking about the suffering of Palestinians and the betrayal I've felt at my country, TO THIS DAY, continues to perpetuate a genocide. The cruelty is soul crushing. It has forced me to reassess all that I am and what matters to me. And to figure out, what, if any, positive impact I can have on this world. (cont)
@pathfinder 4/n I have lived my life as someone who stood up to power, who defended those who couldn't help themselves, and gave free time in pursuits to make the world a better place. And sometimes I get demoralized and think what was it all for? What do the words in our sacred constitution EVEN MEAN when people blatantly disregard ethics, laws, and gifts of humanity? It's been a lot to sit with. (cont)
@pathfinder 5/n Sorry if this is oversharing, but I thought it may resemble some of what you are experiencing. My intention was to validate your feelings and thoughts. If nothing else, sometimes knowing one is not alone can help in dark times. (cont)
@pathfinder 6/n "Carving out a little corner of happiness, and nurturing it" as Kevin stated (thank you!), seems to me more of a revolutionary act, than a selfish one. I cannot help anyone else if my heart is on the ground, lifeless. And I must persist, if for no one else, but my young adult son. He lost his father. So I persist. I look for anyway I can improve my mental, emotional, and physical health in order to at least be better for him. (cont)
@pathfinder 7/n (Whew, I had to delete, retype, and delete what I wrote in this post because it took a dark turn.) Anyway, I suppose we each must find what works to hold ourselves up in trying times. I tinker with supplements & my diet to help my energy level, and happily I've found some success. And, even though I hate it, I started slow running to increase my cardiovascular health. (There are lots of YT videos on slow running if you're interested.) It's working. (cont)
@pathfinder 8/8 I wouldn't say I'm more hopeful, but I'm stronger. Which means my capacity has improved. I have more energy and mental ability to appreciate joy. Roknrol, losing your ability to learn about new science seems significant. I hope you find a way to bring it back. Perhaps switching your "why" from your enthusiastic sense of wonder to finding out why your brain lost that ability, may serve to bring it back? I hope it does come back. I believe it's important.
@flowerpot I would be happy to find a new/another special interest. I'm pretty sure that they "why" boils down to my health (mental and otherwise), but it is maddening to not understand things that I feel like I should understand.
Again, thank you for your help and suggestions...they will simmer for awhile and I'm sure that there will be even more value to be gained as I process.
@flowerpot My first "health" goal is to quit smoking. Unfortunately, without any sort of real support structure for my mental health, that has gone badly. Whenever I'm two days into quitting my depression spirals and...well...let's just say that the crisis lines have advised me to not quit smoking until that changes.
I do need to work on my cardio.
I've been helping neighbors with yard work and such as I'm able...I figure some exercise is better than none. Plus, I've got to maintain my house and yard here, so I'm getting a lot more exercise than when I'm in the US twiddling my thumbs.
I haven't played with my diet much...I'm so used to "fast food" or just heating something in the microwave that that's a whole 'nother burden I'm not ready to shoulder. I *do* eat healthier here, but only marginally.
The whole thing is a process...one that I'm trying to manage slowly, because "all at once" almost never works out for me.
@flowerpot I got Covid once, but "seemed" to recover from it ok. Unfortunately, the symptoms of long-covid are very similar to the symptoms of advanced heart disease, so I suspect regardless of the actual cause, that's probably a lot of what's going on. Until they find a way to clean the plaque out of my arteries and it becomes a cheap enough procedure for me to qualify, I'm pretty sure that's not going to change any time soon.
What gets me is not just the lack of understanding of how the economy works here, which frankly isn’t even that complicated, it’s that people lash out whenever you start pointing out that the system serves the oligarchs who are exploiting them.
There is an undercurrent of aggressive ignorance in western societies. I get the impression that it’s really hard for people to accept that the whole promise of democracy is a lie and that they don’t have any real agency within the system.
Now I'm wondering who uses what development tools. I mostly use Qt Creator myself - I chose it because of its good integration with C++ and Qt projects, and I'm just used to it. On Linux I use Qt Creator, and on Windows I use Visual Studio. I wonder what others use? VSCode, Vim, Visual Studio, JetBrains IDE, Emacs, Sublime or something more rare? - Why did you decide to use them specifically? - What do you like or annoy you about it? - How usable is it in real work?
I am a disabled, anti-Zionist Jew, and I believe we will see a free Palestine. But I also believe this: anyone claiming to do the work of disability rights or justice while remaining silent on Gaza is actually doing no such thing.
And there you have it, just took someone stupid enough to say the quiet part out loud… Kemi Badenoch, leader of the Tories : “Israel is fighting a proxy war on behalf of the UK.”
https://inv.nadeko.
There is nothing more antisemitic than the forcibly associating every Jew in the entire world with war crimes and genocide as if those acts would be innate to every Jew, as some kind of ethnic trait or some such nonsense, as of course they are absolutely not and is simply not how humans work, no matter how much the domestically extremely disliked government of Israel keeps trying to conflate their own culpability for actual mass scale war crimes, crimes against humanity and genocide.
Legitimate criticism against the acts of any State, any State rulers, any militaries, police, diplomats and other State representatives for the acts of the State which they chose to represent and/or rule, can only be "racism" if one first presupposes that there is one and exactly one State for every ethnicity and nobody is allowed to live in or otherwise associate with anything else more than that State, but that presupposition is of course in itself pure racism, a presupposition of ethnic cleansing and complete deprivation of freedom of movement, freedom to like and to love anyone else than within some arbitrary lines on maps, as if such arbitrary lines on maps would be more important than humans and our actually innate long distance social relationships, cooperation without demanding reciprocity, humaneness.
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Pan Africanism Today SecretariatAs coup attempts against the anti-imperialist government of Burkina Faso increase, Pan Africanism Today calls on progressive forces to demonstrate solidarity with th…
La cour d’appel de Paris est revenue sur la décision des juges d’instruction, qui avaient ordonné la remise en liberté sous contrôle judiciaire du leader indépendantiste mardi 3 juin.
Le Fonds national juif a perdu son statut d’organisme de bienfaisance au Canada 🇨🇦 L’Agence du revenu du Canada(ARC) a informé le Fonds national juif (JNF) qu’elle révoquer son statut d’organisme de bienfaisance du groupe en raison de son soutien à l’armée israélienne.
I've been on the fence since I've been trying Hyprland. What I want out of a window manager / DE is lots of window customization settings (borders, animations, etc.), & having configuration inside one file or one directory with hot-reloading (I'm switching from KDE since its config files all over the place). Hyprland is very popular among WM users with a large ecosystem, though I prefer stacking rather than tiling. I can make it work with some window rules, and shell scripts using hyprctl & jq.
I'm wondering how many little things I will need to fix / figure out. For instance, when I open the firefox bookmarks library with CTRL SHIFT O. When that window is open but not focused, and not on top, if I press CTRL SHIFT O again on a DE it comes back to the top, but not on Hyprland. I could probably find a fix for that?
I might be answering my own question but I really want to hear thoughts.
Yeah if you prefer stacking/floating windows definitely go for Wayfire or one of the others stacking/floating compositors. There's not much point in using a tiling compositor if you don't like the tiling.
I'm not a tiling guy, and the tabbed mode on sway seems to me like the best I've used. I believe it's a much better experience than stacking compositors by a lot. Having a tab bar, and everything maximized to it (except what I consider is better off floating) is the best I've experienced. Stacking mode is the same just that is uses too much space by stacking the tabs, so I really don't like stacking mode. So sway tabbed mode, in combination with a tiling concept of a workspace per particular objective (I use 10) and a simple bar (yamber) has no alternative on the stacking spectrum of compositors.
BTW, if going with a stacking compositor, I recommend labwc instead. I found a smoother and way more stable experience than wayfire (some functionality stops working often like sunset functionality, and usually way behind on wlroots support, not a take on wayfire devs, just that I find it more unstable than labwc).
Of course I'm biased towards less eye candy, though I still appreciate the equivalent to basic picom/compton on the Xorg world, which is the norm on any wayland compositor AFAIK.
Sway is definitely great for tabs. I tried it on Hyprland for a while and mixing tiling + tabs was horrendous, it was such a hassle to use that I just stopped trying to use tabs inside tiles after a while. I even tried the hy3 plugin to make Hyprland behave like i3 including tabs and it was better, but there were very annoying bugs... Tabs are the only bad thing I have to say about Hyprland though, otherwise it's a great compositor. If you like dynamic tiling, obviously. Maybe the tabs have been improved since then, it was a year ago and I haven't been following the updates since I switched back to Sway.
I don't know if there are stacking compositors that allow you to tab windows together like Haiku does, maybe that would be closest to what op looks for since they prefer stacking?
maybe, he mentioned stacked mode on a tiling compositor, which is valid, but that's not a thing on stacking compositors... BTW, the stack mode on sway doesn't mean it turns into a stacking compositor, rather it means tabbed mode with the tabs stacked vertically. But the OP knows better.
1st turnoff for me was the creator added this anime background which overwrote whatever background you had. I found the file and wrote a hook to automatically delete it on update reverting to mt background, only to find that there was a condig option to do the same thing
2nd The maintainer is a bigot and I won't support bigotted projects when there are other (better) options like sway which I know use.
TLDR: Creator violates Wheatons Law. I don't like that.
There's an option in the config to replace the default anime background by a more sober one with the hyprland logo (wish I had know that BEFORE doing a presentation on a large second screen for the first time and realizing that hyprpaper kept my custom background on my workspaces but defaulted to the anime wallpaper on the second screen because in hyprpaper backgrounds are configured per screen 😂 ). And no matter whether you use that option or not, it shouldn't overwrite the background you choose. It's displayed only if you don't have any background configured. Otherwise it's either a bug or misconfiguration in hyprpaper.
Definitely not going to defend the dev on the other stuff.
Les gars, on a besoin de vous. On bosse ensemble, sérieusement.
Notez en commentaire toutes les personnalités publiques qui ont glorifié ou justifié le génocide commis à Gaza — ou tout autre acte tombant sous le coup de la loi. On va tout lister proprement, pour constituer un dossier complet et irréfutable.
🔴 Partagez ce message en masse. Plus on aura de monde, plus on rassemblera d’infos. Ce travail est vital.
Un jour, il y aura un retour de bâton. Et ce jour-là, il faudra des preuves.
TKP-ML TİKKO Command: Lal Salaam To Comrade Basavaraj And The 27 People’s Heroes!
We, as the fighters and commanders of the People’s Army TİKKO, have learned that CPI (Maoist) General Secretary Namballa Kesava Rao alias Basavaraj and 27 commanders and fighters of the People’s Liberation Guerrilla Army (PLGA) were immortalized on May 21.
For this reason, we send our condolences to all the workers, peasants and laborers of India, especially to the fighters and commanders of our sibling army PLGA. We respect the memory of the immortals and declare our eternal commitment to their struggle.
Throughout his entire life of struggle, Comrade Basavaraj worked for the liberation of the workers and peasants with a consciousness of fire and a will of steel. He dedicated his life to the freedom of the poor people living on the soil of India. He understood the revolution not only as a duty but as a way of life, and he brought the Indian revolution into existence in his own life.
He passed through the enemy circle countless times; He repeatedly carried out revolutionary attacks against the enemies of the people and against Indian reaction and was in the leading position of these attacks. Comrade Basavaraj will live forever in the struggle of the workers and peasants and the international proletariat for the People’s Democratic Revolution, Socialism and Communism.
The reactionary Indian state, with its expansionist policy and as the gendarmerie of imperialism in South Asia, is pursuing an aggressive policy against the people inside the country and against the lands of other countries in the region. The fascist Brahmanical Hindutva RSS-BJP Regime is using fascist terrorism to defend the interests of large mining companies and multinational monopolies. Under the name of operations against Maoist guerrillas, it is massacring indigenous peoples who resist large mining companies and manipulating this operations by presenting everyone they killed as guerrillas.
In today’s world, where the imperialists are preparing for a new world war, imperialist competition has gained momentum in South Asia. The struggle for dominance over new trade routes has increased regional conflicts. On one side, the struggle for hegemony between the imperialist blocs led by the US and China continues. On the other side, the regional competition between Indian expansionism and Chinese imperialism, the hegemony struggle they have entered into in South Asia and Indochina are gradually evolving the regional tension towards a war. In order to maintain its aggressive line in foreign policy, the reactionary Indian state has launched an all-out attack wave under various names, primarily against the Maoist forces waging a people’s war, but also against all progressive-revolutionary forces.
Today, the reactionary Indian state and its fascist speakers are sending a message to the Indian people by shouting victory cries upon the immortalization of Comrade Basavaraj and 27 Maoist peoples heroes. However, there is something they ignore: from the Naxalbari uprising to the present day, the workers, peasants and laborers of India have built an indestructible bridge of freedom extending from the shoulders of tens of thousands of peoples heroes under the leadership of the CPI (Maoist). This bridge is an indestructible fortress that has been mortared with the blood of martyrs. The current name of this fortress is CPI (Maoist). Therefore, just as the great communist leader Comrade Charu Mazumdar said, “Now is not the time to be sad, comrades, but to rise up like fire.”
We believe that this twist that history has brought before us today will only be an occasion to leap even further on the illuminated path of Marxism-Leninism-Maoism in the flowing struggle of the masses like a flood. The absolute victory of the People’s War will shine like a star in the skies of South Asia.
Once again, we bow respectfully to Comrade Basavaraj and the 27 Maoist people’s heroes and reaffirm our commitment to their struggle.
🇹🇳🇩🇿🇵🇸| Des milliers de Tunisiens et d’Algériens en route vers Gaza pour briser le siège !
Selon l’agence palestinienne Wafa et TRT Global, des milliers de volontaires tunisiens s’apprêtent à quitter plusieurs villes du pays pour rejoindre le point de passage de Rafah, à la frontière entre l’Égypte et la bande de Gaza.
👉 Une caravane de 300 véhicules devrait quitter Tunis le 9 juin, encadrée par le Comité de coordination de l’Action commune pour la Palestine en Tunisie.
🎯 Objectif : exprimer la solidarité avec le peuple palestinien et acheminer une aide humanitaire d’urgence, en traversant la Libye puis l’Égypte.
📌 En parallèle, une délégation algérienne se prépare également. 📊 Au total, 7 000 personnes sont inscrites, en attente du feu vert des pays de transit.
On va vraiment assister à l'attaque d'un petit voilier avec 12 humanitaires à bord par une des armées les plus puissantes du monde, sans qu'aucun pays ne lève le petit doigt ?
Lange konnten Geflüchtete sich im Kirchenasyl vor Abschiebungen retten. Doch zuletzt drangen Polizist*innen immer wieder in Schutzräume der Kirchen ein. Kirchenasyl unter Druck: Hier ist es nicht sicher
über die Frage, ob der "neue #Bundestag" ordnungsgemäß #demokratisch gewählt wurde, entscheidet ohne Zeitlimit der "neue Bundestag". Erst danach darf man ein Gericht fragen.
Übertragen: ob es eine #Gruppenvergewaltigung war, entscheiden die möglichen Gruppenvergewaltiger selbst. Ohne Zeitlimit. Erst danach darf man ein Gericht fragen.
Das Bundesverfassungsgericht hat mehrere Anträge des Bündnisses Sahra Wagenknecht und einzelner Parteimitglieder abgelehnt, mit denen sie eine Neuauszählung der Bundestagswahl erreichen wollten. Dies teilte das Gericht in Karlsruhe mit.
#Gruppenvergewaltigung der 12-jährigen #Anna durch #Migrantenbande: Sieben von ihnen stehen nun außerdem unter dem dringenden Verdacht, sich an einer weiteren - ebenfalls 12-jährigen Schülerin – wiederholt vergangen zu haben.
Das Vorbild der perversen #Sozialisten ist der #Kommunismus. Um erfolgreich zu sein, brauchen sie schlechte #Bildung und korrupte #Politiker, die die unterwürfige, abhängige und almosensüchtige #Bevölkerung ausnutzen.
Jeder von uns kann sich für #FREIHEIT oder #Tyrannei entscheiden.
🔴 A la veille de la conférence de l’ONU sur l’Océan à Nice, à laquelle E. Macron doit participer, trois militants LFI de Nice ont été placés en garde-à-vue hier pendant 8h pour avoir collé des affiches « Macron dégage ! ». Dossier classé sans suite mais fichés avec photos et empreintes. Quelques jours avant, cinq militants de Greenpeace avaient été placés en garde à vue pendant plus de 18h avec perquisitions au domicile de quatre d’entre eux, suite à une action de collage et pochoirs à la craie en faveur de la protection stricte des aires marines protégées. Assez de répression ! Macron, dégage !
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TEHRAN, Jun. 08 (MNA) – Iran lashed out at the United States over its latest round of illegal and unilateral sanctions, calling the coercive measures yet another sign of Washington’s longstanding and profound hostility toward the Iranians.
The Fediverse is finding is building itself from smaller subcultures rather than mainstream disruption. These niche communities utilize the Fediverse to connect with each other effectively and the ...
unfortunately in my experience reddit still has more niche communities than can be found on lemmy, probably bc they have more users. they have more subreddits for specific games, cities/states, mental illnesses, spiritualities/world mythologies, art, music, and book genres... the number of times I've searched for a community on lemmy only for it to not exist makes me hesitant to accept this video's claim. reddit still has more niches than us. we just don't have the numbers or activity.
By Matthew John Every June in the United States we are subjected to a barrage of anti-China propaganda from major media outlets and prominent political pundits (on top of the regularly-scheduled China bashing).
Oder #EgonBarsch ? Gab es schon Versuche, an Praesident #Putin einen Anschlag zu verueben? Am Sohn von Alexander #Lukaschenko wurde es versucht, hat er aber ueberlebt. Er hat dann auch kein Blatt vor den Mund genommen, als er darueber in seinem Parlament gesprochen hat.
@bifouba There's the trajectory too. It's like watching a bus full of passengers accelerating towards a massive concrete wall and saying "nothing to worry about here. I see no collisions".
There are no free \#Linux kernel drivers for contemporary Wi-Fi hardware. Tell Qualcomm, Inc. to release fully-free drivers for its in-production Wi-Fi chipsets, just as it\'s predecessor, Atheros, did sixteen years ago: u.fsf.org/475
Palestinian journalist Ahmed Alnaouq sits down with Ben Jamal, director of the UK’s largest organisation campaigning for the rights of Palestinians, the Pale...
It'll be my birthday soon and I've no idea what to do to celebrate with my family.
Usually we gather and go eat out or make a meal at home but I'm uninspired about any restaurants or cafes atm, and I've no idea what menu to suggest if the gathering happens at home.
So perhaps you guys can recommend either something that's fun to cook or easy or maybe a type of dish you enjoyed somewhere. Or maybe you have other suggestions, like going to the cinema- but there aren't any interesting movies on now.
With growing precision, Russian diplomatic and intelligence officials have been pointing the finger at London, and at British intelligence circles in particular, for principal responsibility for the remote-control guidance of Kiev’s provocative attac…
"The days we spend in close proximity to others’ lives ashore remind us how disenfranchised ours have become. We were homeless before we acquired Wrack, but now we are without a legal residence anywhere, even in our ‘home’ countries. We enter and exit borders uneasily as short-term visitors, our stays limited to 90 or 180 days, depending on where we are. We have no access to banking, insurance, health care, social services or legal employment. Even the modest Australian pensions we have a right to can only be received if we have legal residence in a country with which Australia has reciprocal arrangements — and we haven’t. It's hard even for other live-aboards to understand how deeply we are enmired in this peculiar bureaucratic statelessness. It’s harder for us to deal with it every day.”
Since I wrote this two years ago — in an essay, ‘How I Live’, for a British magazine, The Idler ccohanlon.tumblr.com/post/7290… — nothing has changed. Meanwhile, my wife’s and my meagre resources — like our personal connections ashore — have withered to nothing and the world has become a lot less unpredictable and dangerous, its borders less welcoming not just of refugees and migrants but everybody, with ever more complex regulations enforced by flawed digital data monitoring and surveillance.
My wife and I are feeling all this acutely. On Thursday, we were informed that there was no likelihood of us being granted the temporary residence status that we'd sought. With no other options — the USA, my wife’s home country, is out and we cannot afford to return to — let alone live in —Australia. We are stuck. We have joked about our old boat being a sea-going ‘vardo’, a Romany word for a caravan, but now it really is. We’re uncertain how we'll survive another year of purposeless wandering on the sea.
Hello, my name is Liz Cullinane and for the past four years, I have been inspired to raise… Liz Cullinane needs your support for Support a Voyage to Find Home
Kevin Davy
in reply to Roknrol • • •Roknrol
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •@pathfinder I sure feel defeated; why not admit it? A billion drops of water may carve away a stone, but to the individual drops it's a waste of time.
Hell, I don't feel like I'm much help to even myself, much less anyone else. It's like when you're halfway done with a race and you realize that you're *last*, and that the other people are still moving faster than you, and that you will never ever ever get caught up. At that point, why bother running at all?
Kevin Davy
in reply to Roknrol • • •Roknrol
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •@pathfinder Lol...I've never found joy in running.
And you're right; none of it matters. But my rational brain and my emotional brain are in disagreement and fight that battle every single day.
MooMoo the Cat
in reply to Roknrol • • •Roknrol, did you ever get Covid? I did, and my body and brain have not been the same since. I feel like I aged 10 years, with brain fog & low energy being at the top of the list of negative symptoms. And I've been struck by how much of the sadness/despair I feel is related to not having the energy or capacity to more actively impact my environment like I used to be able to. (cont)
MooMoo the Cat
in reply to MooMoo the Cat • • •Engagement with others requires "spoons" I no longer possess. And I've learned that, because my age is 59, it means my lung and heart capacity will consistently diminish ~5% each decade if I don't take active steps to stop it from happening.
I don't fear death, but I fear being in a diminished a powerless state, beholden to others for care in a society (USA) whose social safety net seems to be crumbling. (OK, some people are actively trying to destroy social services.)
MooMoo the Cat
in reply to MooMoo the Cat • • •The state of the world is often too overwhelming for me to hold all of it in my heart and mind. And I've never stopped thinking about the suffering of Palestinians and the betrayal I've felt at my country, TO THIS DAY, continues to perpetuate a genocide. The cruelty is soul crushing.
It has forced me to reassess all that I am and what matters to me. And to figure out, what, if any, positive impact I can have on this world. (cont)
MooMoo the Cat
in reply to MooMoo the Cat • • •I have lived my life as someone who stood up to power, who defended those who couldn't help themselves, and gave free time in pursuits to make the world a better place. And sometimes I get demoralized and think what was it all for? What do the words in our sacred constitution EVEN MEAN when people blatantly disregard ethics, laws, and gifts of humanity? It's been a lot to sit with.
(cont)
MooMoo the Cat
in reply to MooMoo the Cat • • •Sorry if this is oversharing, but I thought it may resemble some of what you are experiencing. My intention was to validate your feelings and thoughts. If nothing else, sometimes knowing one is not alone can help in dark times. (cont)
MooMoo the Cat
in reply to MooMoo the Cat • • •"Carving out a little corner of happiness, and nurturing it" as Kevin stated (thank you!), seems to me more of a revolutionary act, than a selfish one. I cannot help anyone else if my heart is on the ground, lifeless.
And I must persist, if for no one else, but my young adult son. He lost his father. So I persist. I look for anyway I can improve my mental, emotional, and physical health in order to at least be better for him. (cont)
MooMoo the Cat
in reply to MooMoo the Cat • • •(Whew, I had to delete, retype, and delete what I wrote in this post because it took a dark turn.)
Anyway, I suppose we each must find what works to hold ourselves up in trying times. I tinker with supplements & my diet to help my energy level, and happily I've found some success. And, even though I hate it, I started slow running to increase my cardiovascular health. (There are lots of YT videos on slow running if you're interested.)
It's working.
(cont)
MooMoo the Cat
in reply to MooMoo the Cat • • •I wouldn't say I'm more hopeful, but I'm stronger. Which means my capacity has improved. I have more energy and mental ability to appreciate joy.
Roknrol, losing your ability to learn about new science seems significant. I hope you find a way to bring it back. Perhaps switching your "why" from your enthusiastic sense of wonder to finding out why your brain lost that ability, may serve to bring it back?
I hope it does come back. I believe it's important.
Roknrol
in reply to MooMoo the Cat • • •@flowerpot I would be happy to find a new/another special interest. I'm pretty sure that they "why" boils down to my health (mental and otherwise), but it is maddening to not understand things that I feel like I should understand.
Again, thank you for your help and suggestions...they will simmer for awhile and I'm sure that there will be even more value to be gained as I process.
@pathfinder
Roknrol
in reply to MooMoo the Cat • • •@flowerpot My first "health" goal is to quit smoking. Unfortunately, without any sort of real support structure for my mental health, that has gone badly. Whenever I'm two days into quitting my depression spirals and...well...let's just say that the crisis lines have advised me to not quit smoking until that changes.
I do need to work on my cardio.
I've been helping neighbors with yard work and such as I'm able...I figure some exercise is better than none. Plus, I've got to maintain my house and yard here, so I'm getting a lot more exercise than when I'm in the US twiddling my thumbs.
I haven't played with my diet much...I'm so used to "fast food" or just heating something in the microwave that that's a whole 'nother burden I'm not ready to shoulder. I *do* eat healthier here, but only marginally.
The whole thing is a process...one that I'm trying to manage slowly, because "all at once" almost never works out for me.
@pathfinder
Roknrol
in reply to MooMoo the Cat • • •Roknrol
in reply to MooMoo the Cat • • •@flowerpot I got Covid once, but "seemed" to recover from it ok. Unfortunately, the symptoms of long-covid are very similar to the symptoms of advanced heart disease, so I suspect regardless of the actual cause, that's probably a lot of what's going on. Until they find a way to clean the plaque out of my arteries and it becomes a cheap enough procedure for me to qualify, I'm pretty sure that's not going to change any time soon.
@pathfinder