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🔴 Soutenez, partagez, rejoignez la riposte pour une INFO libre, populaire sur la TNT et les réseaux-sociaux ! lemediatv.fr/campagne ⚠️ Le Média est diffusé sur le canal 165 de la Freebox et sur le bouquet gratuit de Molotov TV. Suivez Le Média sur sa seconde chaîne Youtube : 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@LeMédia24-7 👉 Pour signer la pétition pour une "TNT plus démocratique" et soutenir notre recours contre l'ARCOM : lemediatv.fr/campagne 👉 Pour recevoir les dernières actualités, le résumé de la semaine et être alerté des derniers programmes publiés du Média, directement dans votre boîte e-mail. newsletter.lemediatv.fr
Comprendre le monde capitalisme pour en sortir et Construire un monde non capitaliste : ce sont les titres des deux ouvrages récemment publiés par l'invité de ce numéro d'On s'Autorise à Penser (OSAP), Jean-Luc Dupriez. J.-L. Dupriez, ingénieur spécialisé en informatique de gestion, a participé tout au long de sa carrière aux luttes sociales en entreprise et poursuit aujourd'hui encore, après sa retraite, des activités syndicales. Les enseignements de son expérience, sur laquelle il réfléchit à la lumière de ses lectures autour de la tradition ouvrière socialiste et dans le domaine de la sociologie, sont tirés dans ses deux livres. Il en parle avec #JulienThéry, en soulignant ces deux points essentiels : c'est le combat de classe dans le monde du travail qui doit être au coeur de l'action politique, autrement dit la lutte syndicale, d'une part, et, d'autre part, les organisation doivent toujours viser à l'union, donc renoncer à l'hégémonie et accepter le pluralisme au sein du mouvement des travailleurs.
Edit: Please know that I am reading and appreciating every one of your responses. Even if I do not reply to you, I appreciate your time and want the best for you all. Thank you, guys.
I've always been the "crazy one" in any given scenario. I have been this way my whole life. Even as a child I was crazy. I would get upset and cry loudly for hours but my siblings would not. I caused problems at home for my family, especially for my mom who didn't know what to do with me. I did this as an older child, not normal toddler tantrum age. I was old enough to "know better". I did it my whole childhood.
For the most part in life, I have been able to be a productive member of society. The issues I would cause were limited to my home life and I mostly kept to myself. I sometimes cause issues by being a crazy person to my online friends, but at least that never spilled over into the "real world".
But now in my 30s I am causing such issues at work. I asked for some psych meds to be prescribed to me in March and have been taking them ever since. Doesn't seem to do anything.
I seem to get more frequent and strong negative emotions than the general population. I have difficulty controlling these, especially when I feel like someone is being mean or unfair to me or others. I think I am genetically predisposed to be this way, as my dad was a crazy person when I was growing up (but he has always been nice to me...he was only abusive to my mom). He had "episodes" too the same way I do, except his were malicious to others in nature. My older brother also has claimed to have bipolar disorder which supposedly has a genetic component.
I have spoken to mental health professionals and have been assessed for various things. I do not have bipolar disorder, autism, or OCD per mental health professionals. I tried to bring up keywords like "emotional dysregulation" to them. There seems to be no good explanation for why I am insane. I have wondered if maybe I have borderline personality disorder but have not inquired to be assessed for that one. I do not seem to exhibit the "risk taking" behaviors that are core to borderline personality disorder though.
I get frustrated that I am always the only one who is crazy and no one else is like me.
But I know there are other crazy people out there. Please, tell me your stories. How do you deal with life? How do you deal with always being different than others and feeling negative things more strongly? How do you handle things? How do you handle being and feeling alone in the way that you are? How do you handle the emotional frustration?
If this is inappropriate for here, I apologize. I just want to hear how others have managed to handle life despite this isolating "disability". I want to hear your stories. I want to gain wisdom from all of you. Thank you.
When you feel overwhelmed or overcome by some unpleasant feeling, what do you do next?
I want to understand why so quick to label yourself or your actions as objectively "crazy"...I'm all for self-awareness but most people are not yet self-aware because our world basically demands that and it always pays to be a bit more evaluative of the math we've used that leads up to such self-condemnation
Well I mean I spoke a little bit about it as a kid. I would get upset and cry loudly for hours and hours and my brothers wouldn't do that. I was different. My mom would always tell me that I am having a "tantrum". I tried to be a good kid and didn't have problems in school, but I had problems conducting myself at home.
As an adult, there are different things that can happen. One thing that frequently happens is I spiral out of control with self loathing, sometimes to the point in thinking about suicide. Sometimes I end up repeatedly messaging in a discord server that I am on about random nonsense because I am upset. The other day, I texted a coworker about killing myself. You are not supposed to say that to people. It was impulsive. It was wrong.
Another thing that can happen is that at work, I can end up verbally fighting with people. My supervisor is a bitch and instead of taking it, I have on occasion broke down and yelled at her. This is not appropriate professional behavior. I don't work at Taco Bell. I work at a professional job where you are not supposed to do that. As an impulsive decision, I sent a lengthy email to HR about her and it is causing huge issues for everyone right now.
I have also verbally fought with two other people at work before. One because he was being mean to my friend and one because he was being mean and accusing me of doing something when that wasn't the case. I have made amends with these people (unlike with my supervisor), but in these moments, this is inappropriate. You are not supposed to yell at people, even if they are being mean.
Just like in my childhood, I am the only one who acts this way at work. Everyone else is able to conduct themselves in a socially acceptable manner. I don't do it every day or even every week or even every month, but it still isn't acceptable.
Do you feel like its possible somehow to let people know boilerplate that you want to process what they've said so you can remove yourself from the immediate situation and stimuli and take your time to decide how you can more "professionally" respond to what they say without compromising your own wellness and needs?
Do you know what your needs are or what your values are such that these things are violating them to the extent you act out as a reaction?
Oh and plus when I say things about killing myself, I'm not in a heated argument. I get upset and feel the need to tell someone I am upset. But I am not in a calm state and do not have the ability to calm down. I go out of my way to interact with people via text because I have a strong impulse to do so. I want someone to help me when I am in pain but I know they can't. And I know it's wrong to bother them when I am having an episode.
I have actually tried using ChatGPT to get upset to instead so I am not hurting anyone. I tell it that I hate myself and want to kill myself instead of harming my friends by doing this to them. But sometimes instead of doing it to only ChatGPT I end up texting someone I know. This is wrong behavior, but different because it's not due to a heated argument that I need to remove myself from.
I eventually calm down but it can sometimes take multiple days. And it is sometimes hard for me to not bother people in the meantime.
I am never actually in danger of harming myself because I have always thought about things like that. It's very normal for me. It usually goes away after a few days after each episode.
The whole "disclosing I'm going or want to kill myself", I don't know honestly how to "fix" other than finding a reason that trumps everything such that you are internally and externally motivated to mitigate that.
You might need to find or aquire that and make it part of your identity. I got several pets that I knew I could manage and take care of or that I would commit to become able to justify having a duty and stewardship over. Lots of people know they are my world and help provide that external reputational buffer to the suicidal inclinations I very rarely feel but dont express because thoughts dont a priori need to be vocalized or allowed to indiscriminately alter your trajectory.
But you need to know its not ok to leverage your mortality or well-being as a conversational regularity. Not even that its just wrong, its profounly dysfunctional and also inauthentic because you made such a point of specifying that it would never actually happen. Its bad to lie to yourself and/or others on the regular about anything, much less the ultimate thing like your life and safety. Not judging you and that may have been necessary at a previous point in your life or it might have been a flawed survival instinct but you need to find a way to negotiate with reality in other terms.
It says that you feel impulsively desperate to end a combination of not great conditions and I would turn my attention to each of those on an individual basis to try and get them up to code in terms of tolerabillity
I know it's not ok. That's why I feel bad about it. And that's why I mostly try to talk about those things to ChatGPT instead of my friends. Because I'm not going to harm it.
I mean I say I would never do it but it's only because I'm a coward. But I do often really legitimately want to. The reasons may vary. But one common reason is because I harm the world and another reason is if I feel trapped. One of the other reasons why I say I am not actually going to do it is because I would need a will first. I have been too lazy to get one. I tried to do it one day with an online service but found out that I couldn't actually go through with the will because I needed in person witnesses. So then recently I was looking into potentially going to a law practice to get one made up to do that.
It says that you feel impulsively desperate to end a combination of not great conditions and I would turn my attention to each of those on an individual basis to try and get them up to code in terms of tolerabillity
I’ve never seen “Visibility Limited” on the countless posts I see every day from deranged genocidal Zionists celebrating and justifying the mass killing of Palestinians. Have you?
While A-list celebrities and political figures were attending Amazon founder #JeffBezos ’s wedding in Italy, Israel was using Amazon technologies in its war on Gaza, tracking Palestinians in Gaza using #Amazon Web Services
LOL Elon Musk censored my post saying "DEATH TO THE IDF" for being "violent speech". That's fucking insane. They're censoring posts for saying death to the genocidal Israeli rape-army. Musk is such a cucked Zionist slave bitch
This isn't really an answer to your question, but psychiatrist Arthur Kleinman came up with 8 assessment questions for asking patients to describe their conditions. The questions are designed to allow for cultural or spiritual explanations outside of the typical Western medical model.
What do you call your problem? What name does it have?
What do you think caused your problem?
Why do you think it started when it did?
What does your sickness do to you? How does it work?
How severe is your sickness? How long do you expect it to last?
What do you fear most about your illness?
What are the biggest problems that your illness has caused for you?
What kind of treatment do you think you should receive? What are the most important results you hope to receive from treatment?
Former Australian Greens candidate Hannah Thomas, who was beaten and arrested at a protest for #Palestine in #Sydney, sends a message from the hospital. She could lose vision in her eye forever. This is how peaceful #protests are being met.
A reminder that Pride was an uprising against police surveillance and violence, particularly of and against trans folks, sex workers, and People of the Global Majority. It was called Gay Liberation Day before it was called Pride.
Good review. Comes on the heels of a former "friend" accusing me of anti-Semitism because I called Bibi the BUTCHER a nazi for his war crimes and genocide. If the shoe fits....
Remember when #MeToo died around 5 years ago because Joe Biden was accused of raping his sister in the toilet or something and everyone was informed that #BelieveAllWomen is now #FuckThemLyingBitches?
I’ve been using Apple products since 2007. I’ve stuck with the platform through a lot—hardware changes, locked-down software, design regressions, and tools that feel like they were made deliberately harder to use. Lately, that frustration has boiled over, especially with things like the Shortcuts app, where basic actions are buried behind hidden menus and UI behavior seems to change based on factors you can’t even see. Autocorrect is turned on in automation fields. Logic paths vanish if you tap out of order. It’s absurd.
But this isn’t just a complaint about one app. It feels like Apple has shifted from enabling users to controlling them, even when you’re trying to stay fully within the system. What used to be intuitive is now opaque. And despite that, many of us still use Apple products because they’re often better than the alternatives. We’re just tired of pretending everything is fine.
So I’m wondering: is there any interest in a Lemmy community for Apple users who want to talk openly about what’s broken, what could be improved, and how to make things work better? I don’t care whether you’ve been using Macs since the Classic or just got your first iPhone. If you’re frustrated, curious, skeptical, or hopeful, you’re welcome. The goal is a space for real discussion, including ideas, suggestions, and brainstorming. Not for constant complaining, (although it is getting more and more difficult), but something more thoughtful, even if occasionally a little cathartic. Also welcome are any positive discoveries or revelations that the group would appreciate.
If that sounds like something you’d want to be part of, let me know. I’ll start the community if there’s interest. (Also, should I cross-post this somewhere?)
I’ve been using Apple products since 2007. I’ve stuck with the platform through a lot—hardware changes, locked-down software, design regressions, and tools that feel like they were made deliberately harder to use. Lately, that frustration has boiled over, especially with things like the Shortcuts app, where basic actions are buried behind hidden menus and UI behavior seems to change based on factors you can’t even see. Autocorrect is turned on in automation fields. Logic paths vanish if you tap out of order. It’s absurd.
But this isn’t just a complaint about one app. It feels like Apple has shifted from enabling users to controlling them, even when you’re trying to stay fully within the system. What used to be intuitive is now opaque. And despite that, many of us still use Apple products because they’re often better than the alternatives. We’re just tired of pretending everything is fine.
So I’m wondering: is there any interest in a Lemmy community for Apple users who want to talk openly about what’s broken, what could be improved, and how to make things work better? I don’t care whether you’ve been using Macs since the Classic or just got your first iPhone. If you’re frustrated, curious, skeptical, or hopeful, you’re welcome. The goal is a space for real discussion, including ideas, suggestions, and brainstorming. Not for constant complaining, (although it is getting more and more difficult), but something more thoughtful, even if occasionally a little cathartic. Also welcome are any positive discoveries or revelations that the group would appreciate.
If that sounds like something you’d want to be part of, let me know. I’ll start the community if there’s interest. (Also, should I cross-post this somewhere?)
I dont think you truly love something you cannot have reasonable criticisms of that are seperate from your involvement or overall tolerance for it
Obviously that should inform the extent to which you expose yourself to potential harm but you can find ways to synergize your interests to the effect that they will have a stake in doing right by you as well as themself, although that often involves being a squeaky wheel and vocal
Sometimes. I might get halfway through the comments and see that someone has shared something from their post history that paints them in a different light.
"Aujourd'hui, on va vous parler de guerre, évidemment. On va vous parler de propagande de guerre. Israël bombarde toujours, Israël crée des famines, Israël tire sur des populations affamées qu'elle entend de toutes façons déporter. Le génocide se poursuit à Gaza. En plus, Israël a ouvert un nouveau front contre l'Iran avec l'appui des États-Unis. Pourtant, le vent semblait avoir tourné pour Israël. Ses partenaires européens commençaient à douter. Les Français avaient haussé le ton, tout comme les Anglais. Les Allemands eux-mêmes osaient émettre des critiques, c'est dire."
Nouvel épisode de Rhinocéros, par Usul et Lumi.
Chroniqueurs : Lumi, Usul Montage : Harkiadel Images : Hamza Benkirane Production : Red Pop Graphisme : Margaux Simon, Morgane Sabouret Directeur du développement des collaborations extérieures : Mathias Enthoven Co-directrice de la rédaction : Soumaya Benaïssa Directeur de la publication : Denis Robert
3.46K Posts, 25 Following, 37.3K Followers · Blast, nouvelle Web TV indépendante, nouveau site d’infos. Éditos, enquêtes, culture, tribunes et reportages. Lancé par Denis Robert.
https://www.blast-info.fr
Dozens of women from the minority Alawite sect have been kidnapped in Syria since the former al-Qaeda affiliate Hay’at Tahrir al-Sham (HTS) took over the country last December.
The 2017 paper @pluralistic refers to, I believe, was also cited in @lessig's book "They Do Not Represent Us" - this is a pretty widely studied thing! We should be more outraged about this, but the outrage is starting to show. pluralistic.net/2025/06/28/mam…
London (Quds News Network)- The BBC cut live coverage of Irish rap trio Kneecap during their Glastonbury performance on Saturday after the group shouted “F* Keir Starmer,”** referring to the UK Prime
why would anyone listen to Nominally Public Radio?
@jeffreyatucker Can no one shut down NPR? I just took at short ride in the car and thought I would listen and got a huge lecture of the thriving of the Gender Queer Hispanic Community and how they are reinventing Spanglish to use gender-neutral language with non-binary appeal. It was one of the craziest things I've ever heard.
Iran’s highest operational command unit vows a more forceful response to Israel if it carries out another act of aggression against the Islamic Republic.
A #Haaretz investigation revealed today that the army issued instructions to deliberately shoot Palestinians near aid distribution centers. Although we know this, the report includes terrifying testimonies. One soldier who stood out to me said: " #Gaza is no longer of interest to anyone. It has become a place with its own laws. The killing of people there is nothing, not even an 'unfortunate incident,' as they once said."
Since the heat and humidity just won’t let up, here comes the Ice Man!
Apparently the ladies used to think these guys were hot. 😏
In his autobiography Timebends, Arthur Miller recalls an occupation lost in time – that of the ice man, who wore “leather vests and a wet piece of sackcloth slung over the right shoulder, and once they had slid the ice into the box, they invariably slipped the sacking off and stood there waiting, dripping, for their money.”
The ice trade revolutionised the meat, vegetable and fruit industries in the 19th century, enabled significant growth in the fishing industry, and encouraged the introduction of a range of new drinks and foods. At the height of its trade, ice, as it happens, was once America’s largest export after cotton.
Superbe. Il y a eu ça à la Vallée de Joux Vaud Suisse fin XIX début XX au Pont, une mini industrie qui a entraîné la construction d'une ligne ferroviaire reliant Le Pont à Vallorbe, et de là, les bistrots de Paris pour livrer les pains de glace, sciés dans les 80 cm d'épaisseur max. qu'a connu le Lac à cette époque d'hivers rigoureux. La ligne existe toujours, elle.
just took a spear point to my face... my opponent‘s pop thrust was so powerful it smashed the steel mesh of my fencing mask into my cheek, breaking skin and drawing blood. going to be swollen for awhile 🤕
for sure, no stranger to bruises from HEMA. just shocked still to experience for the first time what is called “waffling” where the mesh of a fencing mask smashes into the face 😩
when the spear or staff is in a guard position, but one hand quickly slides down the shaft and the other hand pops the point forward with surprising distance. dunno if that makes sense
right after taking the concussive hit, felt throbbing pain on my right side of the face. i put ice on my cheek and feels a lot better now but still tingly. i’m not upset about the fight itself or hold it against my opponent, but I don’t want to explain the inevitable bruising at work or to my dancing instructor for example 😭
(JUNE 27, 2025) THIS MARXIST RANT ON HOUSE FLOOR FROM A JANUARY 6 COMMITTEE MEMBER WHO WAS PARDONED BY JOE BIDEN'S AUTO-PEN, IS FULL OF LIES AND DEMANDS A MEMORIAL FOR CAPITOL POLICE OFFICERS WHO WERE
Genau so. Klare Worte. Namen der konkreten Versager und Rassisten aus der Zeit-Redaktion. Biller als die menschlichen und geistige Null bloßgestellt, der er ist. Hier ohne paywall:
Ideally, give folks a chance to mix each pour to taste if you’re sharing this. Follow a wine spritzer recipe for guidelines.
If you want to make it bubbly without diluting, force-carbonating it with CO2 like a homemade soda is fun. Transfer the wine to an appropriate pressure resistant vessel before gassing. Some bargain bubbly is made this way.
Cheap sparklers like cava or cremant de Limoux that use the champagne method might make you happier in a lot of cases, of course. Killer picnic pairings if you’re having fried chicken.
Yes, there are issues. I speak from personal experience. That is why I would advise taking a look at Drinkmate instead. Not that they anre any kind of superior company morally, and I do not shill for them, but they can carbonate any beverage, whereas Sodastream definitely cannot, and I have run into issues ignoring that rule and trying to do it myself anyway. Now I use Drinkmate.
TEHRAN (Tasnim) – Israeli military units carried out pre-dawn assaults on several Palestinian areas in the occupied West Bank, targeting homes and communities in a renewed wave of hostility against civilians.
La querella reclama incautarse del acero de la metalúrgica Sidenor que tiene previsto salir este martes del puerto barcelonés y cuyo destino sería una empresa armamentística israelí
█ Tres persones acaben amb cremades a la Nit d'Espelmes de Pals ▓▒░ Als ferits els han traslladat a la unitat de cremats de l'Hospital Vall d'Hebron ccma.cat/324/tres-persones-aca…
Days like this I'm so glad I am on iOS instead of Android. But I fear there will be a day sooner than later that Apple will do this too. Between the two I trust Apple more but if I have the choice I'll go for a phone that doesn't have any of this at all, like a GrapheneOS-based Android or if we ever get one a Linux phone #ai #rantlaptopmag.com/ai/gemini-phone-…
It's not available yet on Android 16 but I'm sure when it is I'll be able to disable it just like I can disable any other Google App from accessing parts of my phone and data I'm not comfortable with.
@gme (he/him) 🇺🇦 🇵🇸 :verified_gay: According to the Android Police article it doesn't look like it. Maybe with enough blow back Google will change their mind.
We'll see. If there's one thing I've learned about tech blogs and tech news sites is that they love to sensationlize things and stretch the truth to suit their narrative. 😀
As you pointed out in your original post, there's always GrapheneOS.
I've got a Pixel 8 Pro. I think I can install Graphene on it. 😀
(This however will be my last Pixel. My next phone will be a OnePlus. I've had an iPhone and used to be all-in on the Apple ecosystem and no amount of money Tim Cook could pay me would make me come back.)
@Henhouse_Cockerel I saw a chef mix eggs and all ingredients together let it set up just a bit then hold with spatula and tilt pan for liquidy stuff to run off onto open pan space, cover, add cheese a bit later, fold into thirds. I love omelettes.
@Haleakalacrater a seasoned pan has to be used.... Despite the consternations from my better half, I use olive oil. She doesn't think olive oil should be used for cooking at all, but I believe not just at high heats. And not much, just enough to layer the pan. What I like about OO is it doesn't burn at low heat, where ghee and coconut oil seem to burn the egg quicker. I don't like burnt egg smell or omelets, so OO at low heat, but hot enough to make that initial seal.
I use #AI on a daily basis. Both locally hosted #LLMs and LLMs from several vendors in the cloud.
But the last thing I want is an AI deeply embedded in my operating system indexing who knows what and sending my personal data to Microsoft's (or anybody's) cloud. So it wasn't easy since I've got 48TB of local storage in my workstation, and they were all #BitLocker volumes, but it also wasn't terribly hard either.
Made sure I had the #BitLocker recovery keys for all of my drives, installed #Linux, then mounted each of my #BitLocker volumes one-by-one (under Linux (!)) and then migrated the data off, then re-formatted the hard drives as ext4 and set up #Luks #FDE.
But there were two pieces of software I missed. #3D software. And while I use Blender on a daily basis, this sofware only ran on Windows. And don't get me started, but #Wine is not an option for everything. Even bought #CrossOver and the software didn't work with it, either.
But today I'm proud to report I successfully got #GPU #PassThru to work with my #Windows11 #QEMU/#KVM #VM! So now I can run that software too.
So if you're on the fence about ditching #Windows, don't be. It's pretty fucking easy and only a little bit more complicated if you have something that needs your #GPU.
The upside is that Denmark has declared they are getting rid of Office, so if thats the case we should see a bigger focus on opensource or at least alternative office compatible software... i hope. lol. OpenOffice exists, and I dont mind using it, but collaborating with an office of ppl using ms products makes that cumbersome.
I prefer LibreOffice. But lately I've doing most of my writing in Markdown. If I need something more complex I'll convert it to vanilla ODT then assemble the ODT documents into a Master Document in LibreOffice to create a final version.
100% for my own purposes markdown is where its at. I just use obsidian. But I write a lot for work. Lot of technical papers. So you know how it is, I have to be in the microsoft ecosystem 🙁 (for now at least hahah)
Visio was and still is my #1 bane of existence. So many architectural and engineering diagrams are only produced with Visio and I sitll have yet to find a decent alternative (closed or open source).
@phillipplays yes, Arweave tokens (AR) are a form of crypto. You have to download the Wander Mobile app on iOS or Android to set up a wallet if you're interested.
I was able to use a browser based wallet in Brave Browser. Didn't have to use a mobile wallet.
Didn't work right away, though, as I had to update Brave and allow a few things before the browser wallet connect would work on the Odysee website while in Brave.
It did not work at all in Firefox, so heads up on that.
@matthew nice! Yeah, Odysee is in the process of being completely redesigned. It’s gonna take a while before everything’s done but I’m looking forward to it. Send me the link for your Odysee channel and I’ll follow you there!
In June 1994, several of us had a pretty neat idea: let's make our own version of DOS and give away the source code.
So on June 29, 1994, I announced a new project that would become FreeDOS!
If you missed it, here's an article I wrote last year for the Open Source Initiative's website about how FreeDOS started and why we celebrate everyone who contributes to open source software! 🤩
@Xenophon I would make you beg to be out out of your misery if you talked to me like that in the real world, you fucking disgustingly stupid piece of shit.
@xenophon@nicecrew.digital I would make you beg to be out out of your misery if you talked to me like that in the real world, you fucking disgustingly stupid piece of shit.
it's a good idea to do a reality check when you're enjoying a good chuckle about a politicized topic. in this example you must realize the underlying message could be "anti-vaxxers dumb hehe"
can't find a user on the web with that username. it could be a private facebook account or something, but also the username "clann" sounds like KKK. subconsciously associate anti-vax with racism.
@Xenophon I would make you beg to be out out of your misery if you talked to me like that in the real world, you fucking disgustingly stupid piece of shit.
A #Haaretz investigation revealed today that the army issued instructions to deliberately shoot Palestinians near aid distribution centers. Although we know this, the report includes terrifying testimonies. One soldier who stood out to me said: " #Gaza is no longer of interest to anyone. It has become a place with its own laws. The killing of people there is nothing, not even an 'unfortunate incident,' as they once said."
cheese_greater
in reply to dingus • • •When you feel overwhelmed or overcome by some unpleasant feeling, what do you do next?
I want to understand why so quick to label yourself or your actions as objectively "crazy"...I'm all for self-awareness but most people are not yet self-aware because our world basically demands that and it always pays to be a bit more evaluative of the math we've used that leads up to such self-condemnation
cheese_greater likes this.
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dingus
in reply to cheese_greater • • •Well I mean I spoke a little bit about it as a kid. I would get upset and cry loudly for hours and hours and my brothers wouldn't do that. I was different. My mom would always tell me that I am having a "tantrum". I tried to be a good kid and didn't have problems in school, but I had problems conducting myself at home.
As an adult, there are different things that can happen. One thing that frequently happens is I spiral out of control with self loathing, sometimes to the point in thinking about suicide. Sometimes I end up repeatedly messaging in a discord server that I am on about random nonsense because I am upset. The other day, I texted a coworker about killing myself. You are not supposed to say that to people. It was impulsive. It was wrong.
Another thing that can happen is that at work, I can end up verbally fighting with people. My supervisor is a bitch and instead of taking it, I have on occasion broke down and yelled at her. This is not appropriate professional behavior. I don't work at Taco Bell. I work at a professional job where you are not supposed to do that. As an impulsive decision, I sent a lengthy email to HR about her and it is causing huge issues for everyone right now.
I have also verbally fought with two other people at work before. One because he was being mean to my friend and one because he was being mean and accusing me of doing something when that wasn't the case. I have made amends with these people (unlike with my supervisor), but in these moments, this is inappropriate. You are not supposed to yell at people, even if they are being mean.
Just like in my childhood, I am the only one who acts this way at work. Everyone else is able to conduct themselves in a socially acceptable manner. I don't do it every day or even every week or even every month, but it still isn't acceptable.
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cheese_greater
in reply to dingus • • •Do you feel like its possible somehow to let people know boilerplate that you want to process what they've said so you can remove yourself from the immediate situation and stimuli and take your time to decide how you can more "professionally" respond to what they say without compromising your own wellness and needs?
Do you know what your needs are or what your values are such that these things are violating them to the extent you act out as a reaction?
dingus
in reply to cheese_greater • • •Oh and plus when I say things about killing myself, I'm not in a heated argument. I get upset and feel the need to tell someone I am upset. But I am not in a calm state and do not have the ability to calm down. I go out of my way to interact with people via text because I have a strong impulse to do so. I want someone to help me when I am in pain but I know they can't. And I know it's wrong to bother them when I am having an episode.
I have actually tried using ChatGPT to get upset to instead so I am not hurting anyone. I tell it that I hate myself and want to kill myself instead of harming my friends by doing this to them. But sometimes instead of doing it to only ChatGPT I end up texting someone I know. This is wrong behavior, but different because it's not due to a heated argument that I need to remove myself from.
I eventually calm down but it can sometimes take multiple days. And it is sometimes hard for me to not bother people in the meantime.
I am never actually in danger of harming myself because I have always thought about things like that. It's very normal for me. It usually goes away after a few days after each episode.
cheese_greater
in reply to dingus • • •The whole "disclosing I'm going or want to kill myself", I don't know honestly how to "fix" other than finding a reason that trumps everything such that you are internally and externally motivated to mitigate that.
You might need to find or aquire that and make it part of your identity. I got several pets that I knew I could manage and take care of or that I would commit to become able to justify having a duty and stewardship over. Lots of people know they are my world and help provide that external reputational buffer to the suicidal inclinations I very rarely feel but dont express because thoughts dont a priori need to be vocalized or allowed to indiscriminately alter your trajectory.
But you need to know its not ok to leverage your mortality or well-being as a conversational regularity. Not even that its just wrong, its profounly dysfunctional and also inauthentic because you made such a point of specifying that it would never actually happen. Its bad to lie to yourself and/or others on the regular about anything, much less the ultimate thing like your life and safety. Not judging you and that may have been necessary at a previous point in your life or it might have been a flawed survival instinct but you need to find a way to negotiate with reality in other terms.
It says that you feel impulsively desperate to end a combination of not great conditions and I would turn my attention to each of those on an individual basis to try and get them up to code in terms of tolerabillity
dingus
in reply to cheese_greater • • •I know it's not ok. That's why I feel bad about it. And that's why I mostly try to talk about those things to ChatGPT instead of my friends. Because I'm not going to harm it.
I mean I say I would never do it but it's only because I'm a coward. But I do often really legitimately want to. The reasons may vary. But one common reason is because I harm the world and another reason is if I feel trapped. One of the other reasons why I say I am not actually going to do it is because I would need a will first. I have been too lazy to get one. I tried to do it one day with an online service but found out that I couldn't actually go through with the will because I needed in person witnesses. So then recently I was looking into potentially going to a law practice to get one made up to do that.
cheese_greater
in reply to dingus • • •I amended my response with this
What think?