🎙️ TRAILER — NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "EPSTEIN: THE ISLAND WHERE NOTHING HAPPENED" 🎙️

Chudrick Westfallen (V.O.):

"I'm Chudrick Westfallen… Pulitzer Prize runner-up, five-time winner of the Golden Participation Trophy, and the man who dares to ask the hard-hitting question… What if nothing… ever happened?"

CUT TO: montage of stock footage — palm trees, billionaire yachts, black books being accidentally shredded by office interns.

Chudrick (on screen, standing in front of a completely unconvincing green screen of Little Saint James):

"Jeffrey Epstein. Philanthropist. Finance genius. Self-made island enthusiast. Alleged — and I emphasize, alleged — bad boy of international society."

Cue sinister violin screech before a record scratch sound effect.

Chudrick (grinning):

"But what if I told you… the REAL crime… is that the man was totally innocent… and just really, really good at networking?"

CUT TO: President Donald J. Trump, sitting in a gilded armchair surrounded by framed Time Magazine covers of himself.

Trump (smiling):

"Look, I knew Jeff. Everybody knew Jeff. Tremendous guy. Amazing guy. Some say the best guy. But I’ll tell you what — I hardly knew him. Barely. If at all. And even then… nothing happened. Nothing! Nobody partied like Jeff. Classy parties. Great hotdogs. The best pizza. But sinister things? Never saw it. Never heard it. Total hoax. Witch hunt!"

CUT TO: archival footage of Epstein posing awkwardly with dozens of celebrities as Chudrick narrates.

Chudrick (V.O.):

"Sure… sure… you could believe the so-called evidence — hundreds of hours of sealed testimony, mysterious offshore bank accounts, rampant 'coincidental' suicides…"

CUT TO: clip of a guard "falling asleep" on security footage while Epstein's camera mysteriously glitches.

Chudrick (smirking):

"…OR you could just accept the truth. That Jeffrey Epstein was nothing more than a hardworking financier, tragically persecuted for having too many friends and too many massages. And folks… there is nothing criminal about relaxation."

CUT TO: Trump waving his hands emphatically.

Trump:

"Look, the guy worked hard, very hard. Maybe the hardest. Some people said, 'Jeffrey, take a break!' but he didn’t. Incredible work ethic. Incredible stamina. And the media? Very unfair. Nobody’s been treated worse… except maybe me."

CUT TO: Chudrick standing at Epstein’s now overgrown island compound, pushing through bushes to reveal… absolutely nothing.

Chudrick (winking):

"When you look very closely… you’ll find exactly what I found… nothing at all."

Cue dramatic swell in music.

Narrator (V.O.):

"Join us in this groundbreaking 6-part series… as Chudrick Westfallen bravely uncovers how a man with zero suspicious activities became the victim of the greatest smear campaign in history. Epstein: The Island Where Nothing Happened… streaming this fall… if Netflix doesn’t mysteriously pull it first."

Cut to Trump giving double thumbs up, American flag waving in slow motion.

Trump (grinning):

"Totally innocent. The best nothing you’ve ever seen happen."

END SCREEN: EPSTEIN: THE ISLAND WHERE NOTHING HAPPENED. COMING SOON.