AI Now Leads the World in Hacking—Built by Us.
#AI #Cybersecurity #TechEthics #ArtificialIntelligence #TheInternetIsCrack
AI Now Leads the World in Hacking—Built by Us.
#AI #Cybersecurity #TechEthics #ArtificialIntelligence #TheInternetIsCrack
As I am trying to get this memorial service for my mom together, I'm going through a lot of pictures of her. I just got a bunch from her sister, of when she was younger.
I've been with mom almost every day, for the last 17 years. Then, she was about 300 pounds. The last 6 years mom battled mini strokes and type 2 diabetes. She was losing weight the past 5 years or so, which we attributed to her not having her stressful job anymore (she wrongfully got fired after her first stroke).
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The Force-Feeding of AI on an Unwilling Public
This isn't innovation, it's tyranny
honest-broker.com/p/the-force-…
A few months ago, I needed to send an email. But when I opened Microsoft Outlook, something had changed.
Microsoft asked me to use Copilot to write my email. Copilot is my AI companion. (That’s the cute word they use.)
After some trial-and-error, I found a way to disable Copilot. Phew!
But a few days later, Microsoft surprised me again. It wouldn’t let me ...
I don’t want AI sending me emails—but I don’t get a choice.
I don’t want AI music on Spotify—but I don’t get a choice.
I don’t want AI books on Amazon—but I don’t get a choice.
If they gave people a choice, they would reject this tyranny masquerading as innovation.
Every time I see mention of Guam, I think it might be nice to move there. This time I took a serious though not detailed look, and I gotta say I like the idea. Kinda like Hawaii without the rampant tourism from the looks of things? Been to Hawaii, and quite liked it, everything cost more, but manageable, especially if'n you had the option of shopping in Honolulu, and avoided Oahu.
Anyone recommend some good resources, or want to answer questions? Mostly wondering how the costs stack up compared to Missouri, taxes look like they'll drop, housing will be a bit higher, not sure about the rest.
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Sensitive content
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Two people have died with thousands warned to stay indoors as fires fuelled by extreme temperatures hit Catalonia.
#climate #ClimateCollapse #environment
Queensland Premier David Crisafulli will stand with a US flag but he won't stand with the Indigenous flag or the Torres Strait Islander flag as his predecessors have done.
Why? #qldpol
You can tell Marco Rubio is proud. How his smile quickly turns to nausea in every photo. Well, he got what he wanted.
#MarcoRubio #USAid #NoRepublicansEverAgain #RepublicansAreKillers #USPol
Texas tragedy foretells future for warming climate, scientists say
https://www.axios.com/2025/07/06/climate-texas-tragedy-future?utm_source=flipboard&utm_medium=activitypub
Posted into Energy @energy-AxiosNews
The Zionist ship is on fire in the Red Sea.
No ship will pass until aid is delivered to Gaza.
#OpRedSea
Totally sketched out an "Anarchist" friend of mine celebrated the Diddy verdict because and i quote "its really inspiring to see someone beat the government" and sure I'm for prison abolition but what? It's not a shock a billionaire got largely away with preying on and abusing women and surely is the opposite of something to celebrate. Like WTF!
Ethics statement:
- I do not work for a cybersecurity vendor (or an MSSP, MSP, etc)
- I do not own shares in any cybersecurity company, tech company etc
- I do not have any shorts in any company
- I’m busy in the trenches dealing with attackers typing “../..” to get root access and such.
Additional:
- I earn nothing from my social media.
- I don’t do paid toots or tweets or blogs etc.
- I don’t do talks, conferences etc.
- I don’t accept paid private briefing offers.
This applies retrospectively as well.
I'm kind of sick of endless #superhero movies and endless reboots
But I can totally get behind this:
"#JamesGunn Says ‘#Superman’ Is About an ‘#Immigrant That Came From Other Places’ and How We’ve ‘Lost’ the Value of ‘Basic Human Kindness’: ‘Yes, it’s About #Politics’"
variety.com/2025/film/news/jam…
So much can be mined from the golden age of comic books which had its roots in fighting #fascism in #WWII
And the silver age and the #civilRights struggle (#XMen)
#PopCulture is a tool to fight #MAGA
James Gunn says 'Superman' is the story of an 'immigrant that came from other places.'Jack Dunn (Variety)
Were you both in a coma or something when Israel was about to break the ceasefire and Trump told Bibi to turn his planes around and then he actually did? Were you also in a coma when he said that they don't know what the fuck they're doing in front of the whole world?
You are the people that Morpheus is warning Neo about in this scene.
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More than 100 economists including Thomas Piketty and Jayati Ghosh publish open letter ahead of country’s 19 November electionUki Goñi (The Guardian)
There is a controversy at Eastern Maine Community College after a professor reportedly attacked a Christian conservative student for writing an essay about gun control. Katherine Parker accused Eng…JONATHAN TURLEY
#ole
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If you've ever wanted to live “Like Mike,' here's your chance. A Chicago-area mansion, the former home of Michael Jordan, is now available for rent on Airbnb.Amber Harding (OutKick)
This weekend, Kiki was a PITA because she started yelling if I wasn't in the same room with her. It got so bad I had to carry her to where I was.
This morning when she started being noisy on her patio, I peeked outside only to see her hugging her tennis ball. So I went outside and she rolled the ball to me and I rolled it back. 🥹 We went back and forth for a few minutes which was unusual. She was happier and quieter this afternoon. The pic is of her napping after our game. #Caturday
for my next trick, i will be saving myself a $1500 expense in the RSX, using a $15 "O2 sensor spacer" bung that pushes the secondary O2 sensor slightly out of the exhaust stream to avoid the annoying p420 catalyst below efficiency threshold error and check engine light
the computer tries to be clever and test the cat for efficiency by monitoring the downstream sensor reading and comparing it to the upstream one. this cat is fine, it's probably something like 90% functional and the exhaust doesn't stink or anything. so i'm not about to plunk down 1500 for a new cat just cause it's not at peak efficiency for california air standards or something
don't tell the EPA but i'm pretty sure this only would be frowned upon in places like california. some people completely remove catalytic converters to make their cars go faster which really does cause the exhaust to stink. i wouldn't go that far.
the civic does need a new cat though and the exhaust does not smell too great, but it's not throwing an error
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These fucking selfish retards have eroded any and ALL concern for their continued upkeep.
It's certainly not like they're raising decent humans, either.
All that assistance and energy and industry and money and this retarded cunt can't even teach her kids gratitude.
Even her lettuce isn't up to her queenly standards. For free.
"Use your common sense in the comments."
Without taking a breath she continues, "I don't give a fuck about the taxes paid..."
And to top it all off, it's 75% junk snack food.
When users replied that it's shitty food she rebukes them with, "Who said these snacks were for my kids?"
#nigger #rape #finance
#gay #trans #lgbt #faggot
#1日1回パンケーキチャレンジ #4thofjuly #aiイラスト #alligatoralcatraz #alligatorauschwitz #americaparty #artfight2025 #auspol #baroquesun #britishgp #canadaday #diesympathischeemfuralle #disabilitypridemonth #dogberryasongorpoem #dutgemacht #euro25 #fedibird #fourthofjuly #gravy #hentai #iliketowatch #independenceday #ioメシヨソイゲーム #july4 #july4th #listeningclub #michaelmadsen #mitv66 #monsterdon #mudkip #myweekcounted #norfin #rnした数だけオリキャラに媚薬飲ませる #sgdq2025 #silentsunday #solarpunksunday #sonntag #standingstonesunday #stunday #suiisl #sunday #tdf2025
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The Midwestern Doctor looks at DMSO as a treatment for lung problems
midwesterndoctor.com/p/dmso-he…
LONG with lots of good bits here. Like testimonials of DMSO applied to the back for other problems - the lung problems were fixed as well. Plus a lot of data comes from Russia and China.
How DMSO treats Asthma, COPD, Pneumonia, ARDS and Pulmonary FibrosisA Midwestern Doctor (The Forgotten Side of Medicine)
STOP! SHUT IT DOWN!👈🏻
New 'Breathable' Covid 'Vaccine' Advances Through U.S Clinical Trials slaynews.com/news/new-breathab…
A new Covid "vaccine" is advancing through clinical trials in the United States, but this time it’s not a shot in the arm, it's a "breathable" mist that "vaccinates" people by entering the lungs.Frank Bergman (Slay News)
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Some local stories
coloradosun.com/2025/07/06/col…
Another story about CO ranchers and the wolf problem caused by the state.
coloradosun.com/2025/07/06/col…
A puff piece about the Otto Mears toll roads built in the late 1800s. A bit about his history and what he helped build in CO.
coloradosun.com/2025/07/06/all…
Nicolai opinion piece denouncing "Alligator Alcatraz" (without seeing it etc.). Just the idea is bad plus Nazi comparisons. The TDS is strong with this one.
Western slope ranchers are organizing to seek a resolution to their wolf problem. Is paying them the answer?Tracy Ross (The Colorado Sun)
Two recent statements from the surveillance company reveal a troubling pattern: when confronted by evidence of widespread abuse, Flock Safety has blamed users, downplayed harms, and doubled down on the very systems that enabled the violations in the …Electronic Frontier Foundation
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Interview with Franz Josef Holczabek, who lived in Königshütte (Poland) and served in the Wehrmacht from 1940-45
open.substack.com/pub/avawolfe…
He was in 8th Infantry Division, 90th Infantry 'Afrika Korps', and the 275th Infantry Division. He was a POW at war's end in the genocidal 'Rheinwiesenlager' (Rhine Meadow Camps) and his wife and daugAva Wolfe (Ava’s Substack)
Republican Senator Thom Tillis slammed his own party's "One Big Beautiful Bill" for betraying America, and warned that it will destroy Republicans.Cliff Schecter (Crooks and Liars)
Just to remind you.. This is the Israeli occupation soldier who murdered little Palestinian girl Hind Rajab by shooting 355 bullets at her tender body!
x.com/AbujomaaGaza/status/1941…
#Gaza #Palestine #Syria #iran #lebanon #Genocide #geopolitics
@palestine @lebanon @yemen @irannachrichten #SettlerColonialism
#AntiImperialism #tiktok #cdnpoli
#canada #usa #yemen
@blackmastodon #freePalestine #GazaGenocide #IsraelTerroristState #StopGenocide
#palestina #StopAIPAC #IDFTerrorists #DismantleZionism
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Let’s assume a fictitious scenario: the positions that the U.S. armed forces have taken on the border with Mexico and in the waters of the Gulf of Mexico and the Pacific, are not to threaten, pressure or monitor the cartels. Nor are they for skirmishes or in-and-out strikes against any cartel. The strategic positioning of these forces is for an invasion.
If this were so, then references to the national anthem would be more rhetorical. A call for national unity, as in the times of Luis Echevarría Álvarez and José López Portillo.
Still with the assumption, then it would be expected that the bad governments would start preparations: the Military Draft would be activated and the civilian population would be instructed in the handling of firearms, construction of defenses, uses of shelter and cover, knowledge of the terrain, and chain of command. Of course, for this to happen, the civilian population would have to be provided with weapons, however rudimentary they may be. And the armed forces would reorient their actions to defense preparedness.
The proof that this is unthinkable for the governments is that the so-called national guard law just approved is going precisely in the opposite direction. The entire structure and strategy of the armed forces in Mexico would be, in military terms, not for internal control, but for defense against a foreign attack. And the armies would not be designing, building and administering the mega-projects of the officialist propaganda of the 4T.
Let’s suppose that Mr. Trump is not content to bend Mexico with tariffs, selective border closures, and trade and financial measures. Suppose Trump is someone eager to be noticed, to “go down in history” (sound familiar?). Let’s assume that he is not interested in a quiet and discreet domination of his target, and that he needs to show off and thinks nothing better than guns to do so. Let’s suppose that Trump is a “bully” who not only needs to humiliate his target, he needs to be seen, that this cowardly action “serves as a lesson.” Sure, he’s not smart, but he’s got his gun locked and loaded.
What would he count on in his favor?
An essential point of an invasion is to have a casus belli, a motive for the war.
Eduardo Ramirez Aguilar, who claims to govern the southeastern Mexican state of Chiapas, has already given the gringos a guideline to follow in this hypothetical situation. His local armed forces momentarily invaded neighboring Guatemala and he immediately justified the blunder by accusing that government… of complicity and of protecting organized crime (the same thing the gringos say about Mexico). Of course, he got a slap in the face from the center, but the wrong was and is done.
With its new prerogative, the military, instead of spying on those who criticize and oppose the 4T, would gather information on the ground and on the military capabilities of the likely aggressor.
For its part, the aggressor would gather the necessary information about the target of the invasion. And, as we have seen, information on the character of the enemy, his psychology, his behavior would weigh more heavily.
Another element to consider in this supposed invasion would be whether it has local support in the invaded territory.
Because, unlike in Ukraine and Palestine, where a Juan Guaidó did not appear -or has not appeared yet-, as in Venezuela, in Mexico there are those who sigh and aspire to be part of the American Union.
The ultra right (also known as “opposition”) wants to be noticed. The fuss they make seven days a week is not aimed at the voter. The latter is already campaigning for the ruling party with the payment of the increasingly meager social support, when it comes to reaching the recipient.
The ruling party is wrong in celebrating that the hysteria of the right wing does not produce any appreciable effect on what matters to it: the votes.
The ultra-right is not throwing a tantrum and kicking its feet so that the people of Mexico will look at it. It is so that in “the brutal and turbulent north” they will be taken into account.
This sector, although small in numbers, is quite “loud” in the media. However, it would have at least two problems:
One is when to expose themselves for what they are. And when they say, in their after-dinner conversations, “Mexico will not be Venezuela,” they do it knowing they will not show themselves until the flag of the stripes and murky stars flies over the old Palacio de Cortés. “We will not be Juan Guaidó, who stayed waiting for the Marines to land,” they say to themselves.
But, two, the biggest problem they have would be to decide who would be the one to receive the invader as host. And in their eagerness to take the lead, they would reveal themselves: Alito? Anaya? Salinas Pliego? A triumvirate? The latter has a classic charm.
In general, the 4T currently owes a lot to the ultra-right. Its media belches give it internal cohesion, jingoistic discourse and ammunition for the mornings and the like-minded pencil pushers.
-*-
And in this, the look into the past, the ultra-right coincides with the ruling party (National Regeneration Movement Party, the Green Ecologist Party and the Workers’ Party -the 3 with the paradox in their names-).
Again and again, in the school of cadres of these parties, that is, in the “mañaneras” (morning press conference), it is repeated that the pre-Hispanic past was splendorous (in reality, they refer to their adoration for the Aztec empire -that is what it was, an empire-). Which is why they rewrite history to suit their own agenda.
While in the ultra-right they would swoon to see the U.S. army marching on Reforma, in the ruling party some would dream of the Russian army, others of the Chinese army, and, well, the PT would long for the arrival of the army of… North Korea!
In the ultra-right and the ruling party, the dilemma would be who would be at the top of the pyramid. A change at the top of the pyramid or a change of pyramid, then.
In this hypothetical situation, can you imagine the heroes of the 4T wielding a 5.56 mm caliber FX-05 Xiuhcoatl (AK-47 Fire Serpent)? Do you imagine them facing the invader’s bullets with their heroic chests? Or do you imagine them running for cover? Oh, oh, in this hypothetical scenario there is nowhere to go. Unless they change sides….
Right, you’re right: good thing that’s not going to happen! There is nothing on the horizon to suggest anything like that. It’s just the Captain’s desire to make a nuisance of himself and ruin the meal.
-*-
If you look at the political class, this country called Mexico is a country of many lies. Many bosses – male and female. Too many generals, not enough troops. Each one with his or her own war to climb the pyramid. Their calls for national unity are useless because they cannot even unite their own party organization.
In addition: corruption, inefficiency and inability (for example, in the face of floods and droughts), refried demagogy, window dressing indigenism, “independent” voices for hire: freelancers and sicarios in the morning, the experts’ columns, the institutionalization of cheating (because the cheat sheet is an old school trick).
Meanwhile, as a sign of change, the country goes from being a clandestine cemetery to a zone of disappearances. And it is celebrated as progress: “violent deaths have decreased”, although now disappearances are increasing. The No Place like the homeland with biometric CURP(Unique Population Registry Code).
-*-
Questions:
1.- So what was to be planted was corn and beans and not marketable saplings?1
2.- Consequently, since the government recognizes the destruction of nature with the Mayan Train (“we are not going to cut down a single tree,” said the Supreme Court), and in accordance with the foreign policy of demanding apologies, are they going to apologize to the people of “Sélvame del Tren” for the insults, harassment and pressure, and recognize that they were right in their denunciations? And to the affected native communities? 2
3. Ah, so it was not true that they put an end to the so-called huachicol? 3
4.- Does the current situation mean that the policy of “hugs and not punches” is pretty much over and done with?
5. So the “good” Salinas (Ricardo Salinas Pliego) is not so good, and it was a mistake to finance him with the administration of the welfare programs in the first years of the last six-year term? Now the ‘bad’ Salinas (Carlos Salinas de Gortari) will become a respected “Mr.” Salinas? 4
6.- Why is there time, disposition and “good will” to receive the paradoxical Carlos Slim, the gringo Secretary of State and the big businessmen (all beautiful people, listen), but not to receive the CNTE and the searching mothers? Because they are ugly? Because they are “eat-when-there-is-and-when-there-isn’t-they don’t”? Ah, because they are at the bottom of the pyramid?
7.- By accusing the ineffable Alfonso Romo 5 of money laundering is the gringo government demonstrating that it has learned from organized crime? Like warning Clara Brugada6 not to step out of line by murdering two of her collaborators? Or for whom is the warning?
-*-
But it’s not all the disfigurement of the national and international political class up there.
Below…
There are those who seek and, although late, do not give up, do not sell out and do not give in.
There are those who do not look up, but look in the mirror.
There are those who, seeing themselves in others, who find themselves.
Because “rebelliousness is born and grows all over the planet, refusing to accept the limits of schemes, rules, laws and precepts. Because there are not only two genders, nor seven colors, nor are there four cardinal points, nor is the world one” (Semillero Comandanta Ramona, August 9, 2018).
From the mountains of the Mexican Southeast.
The Captain.
Mexico, now in July of 2025.
Original text published in Enlace Zapatista on July 2nd, 2025.
Translation by Schools for Chiapas.
abolitionmedia.noblogs.org/?p=…
#chiapas #ezln #mexico #northAmerica #subcomandanteMarcos #zapatista
Ana de Ita states, in not addressing the campesino agrarian nuclei as collective owners of the land, but instead as individuals, choosing some and not others —the end of this term will not see a single difference, neither in the reduction of poverty,…katydid (Schools for Chiapas)
we could cherry-pick out a million things trump said that ended up being stupid too.. who knows if elon still thinks carbon tax is a good idea or not, he doesn't talk about it any more.. "this one thing some person said years ago proves that they are retarded for ever"
trump fucked up majorly with coronavirus, trusting dr. fauci, and operation warp speed to rush through what ended up being the most deadly and dangerous vaccine in world history.. to combat some thing that has like a 99.8% survival rate or what ever..
but i don't think trump is just permanently retarded because of that mistake.. he is a good man that i think means well for the country and trying to do what he THINKS is best, but what if he starts doing things that don't resonate with like half of his voter-base?..
some people are camp trump, or camp elon, but they both make mistakes and aren't perfect.. so if either one of them start doing some thing really stupid i want to call them out on it, not just double-down on my favorite dude man..
trump is talking about giving amnesty to lots of illegal aliens because i guess he thinks farms and hotels etc can't be managed with legal americans?.. and he is calling any one in his voter-base that doesn't agree with that the "radical right".. so there are things trump is slipping up on if we wanted to go looking for dirt to dig up..
but whether elon's party is going to be retarded or not, if i were trump i wouldn't just dismiss it as a pipedream that will never happen..... elon has a tendency to manifest things he is envisioning in to reality, and it also can't be over-looked that he has the biggest microphone in the world..
which ever dork wins i just hope the policies are ACTUALLY good for america, including for the long-term and not just short-term..
(side note: america really needs like a condorcet-style voting system so that people can finally stop feeling like they are throwing away their vote if they don't vote for democrat or republican.. people should be able to vote for who they really actually want)
@Zennagain @Haleakalacrater @FF777
I would be really careful about putting too much faith in RFK Jr. I don't think he will last the whole 4 years.
RFK Jr's Vice President says he is completely under control of someone outside of the Trump administration. She has implied repeatedly that RFK Jr is being sexually blackmailed.
RFK Jr sending numerous naked videos of himself to a reporter a couple of months ago certainly makes it look like he is susceptible to blackmail.
@Zennagain @Haleakalacrater @FF777
Making it about race is childish.
The fact that RFK Jr's VP says he is being controlled merits attention.
And any married 60 something year old man sending naked videos of himself to a report half his age is asking to be blackmailed.
@Zennagain @Haleakalacrater @FF777
I care about it. It was a massive lapse of judgement.
Acting like RFK Jr's weakness at "controlling his sexual demons," his words, is not a problem is naïve. That's how RFK Jr acts while sober. Imagine what he must have been like when he was a hardcore drug addict.
RFK Jr was a crack and heroin addict for decades. Imagine what blackmail material must exist from his junky years...
@Zennagain @Haleakalacrater @FF777
No arrests for heroin possession is a pretty low purity test.
The purity test I generally use is whether or not a candidate would be allowed to enlist in the lowest level of the military.
The military will waver quite a bit including felonies.
RFK Jr fails that purity test. His criminal record, and his long history of mental illness and drug abuse, would prevent him from enlisting in the military, so I wouldn't vote for him.
At least that's how I think...
@Zennagain @Haleakalacrater @FF777
RFK Jr is the weakest link in the Trump administration. My guess is he will quit shortly after the midterms and announce his candidacy for some position in 2028. It will probably be Democrat for President, but I wouldn't be surprised by him running for Senator.
Do you love Hillary too? RFK sure does?
BIO: “It is time to go to The Hill and lobby that it is time for RFK Jr to go.”Robert W Malone MD, MS (Malone News)
Weedkiller ingredient widely used in US can damage organs and gut bacteria, research shows
theguardian.com/environment/20…
Diquat is banned in the UK, EU, China and other countries. The US has resisted calls to regulate itTom Perkins (The Guardian)
⚡️BREAKING: Freedom Flotilla Coalition:
"We are setting sail again. On July 13, 2025 our boat 'Handala' will depart from Siracusa, Italy to break Israel’s illegal blockade. This mission is for the children of Gaza.
x.com/SuppressedNws/status/194…
#Gaza #Palestine #Syria #iran #lebanon #Genocide #geopolitics
@palestine @lebanon @yemen @irannachrichten #SettlerColonialism
#AntiImperialism #tiktok #cdnpoli
#antiPalestinianracism #canada #usa #yemen
@blackmastodon #freePalestine #GazaGenocide
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Journalist Ahmad Akram al Hanawi Zaqout, his brother, wife and children have been KILLED in Israeli bombing of his home!
x.com/AbujomaaGaza/status/1941…
#Gaza #Palestine #Syria #iran #lebanon #Genocide #geopolitics
@palestine @lebanon @yemen @irannachrichten #SettlerColonialism
#AntiImperialism #tiktok #cdnpoli
#antiPalestinianracism #canada #usa #yemen
@blackmastodon #freePalestine #GazaGenocide #IsraelTerroristState #StopGenocide
#palestina #StopAIPAC #IDFTerrorists #DismantleZionism
“Jennifer Cromack was combing through the American Baptist archive when she uncovered a slim box… Opening it, she found a scroll in pristine condition.
A closer look revealed the 5-foot-long document was a handwritten declaration titled ‘A Resolution and Protest Against Slavery,’ signed by 116 New England ministers in Boston and adopted March 2, 1847. Until its discovery… American Baptist officials worried the anti-slavery document had been lost forever.” wbur.org/news/2025/07/03/massa…
Until its discovery in May at the archives in Groton, Massachusetts, American Baptist officials worried the anti-slavery document had been lost forever.Michael Casey, The Associated Press (WBUR)
rawstory.com/dalton-rice-texas…
Dalton Rice, the city manager of Kerrville, was called out by a reporter after he fled from a press conference about the deadly floods in Texas.David Edwards (Raw Story)
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MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •Her nails were always bitten to the quick from the stress she was under at the brokerage firm. After she "medically" retired (no job for her to go to, anymore--plus, nobody would hire a 76 yr old woman) her nails grew. So we thought the weight loss was from her not stress eating.
She was diagnosed with a pancreatic mass 19 months ago during a hospital stay. We elected to not biopsy or treat her for it. I started her on the Joe Tippens protocol, which I did for about seven months.
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •It took mom exactly one year of nursing care--where she was off the Joe Tippens protocol --to finally die. She weigned less than 130 when she passed and her official diagnosis was "protein-calorie malnutrition ". My friend who runs a hospice told me it's a bullshit diagnosis when the doctors can't be certain exactly what's causing the patient to decline, except her weight was plummeting.
It's been 12 days since mom left me. And, as I've been going through these photos of her, I've noticed
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •that the weight loss was profound and not like when Oprah lost weight, where she looked like a bobble- head. This looks like cancer, where mom was skeletal and her flesh melted away.
I had one final photo of my mom that I took a week before she died, for my aunt. (She tried to snap a picture during their last FaceTime but it didn't work so she asked me to take a picture.) I just looked at it and that's when I realized how bad my mom deteriorated.
There's only 1 reason I'm not sure about it.
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •My mom was not in pain when she died. I asked her, countless times, and trust me, she would have told me.
The nurses all told me that pancreatic cancer is extremely painful. My mom did not exhibit that pain at all. She cried out once, when her sheets were being changed, because she was so thin and the movement hurt her. But she was okay after a minute. She never asked for morphine.
So although everything looked like cancer, I can't say for sure.
Maybe the Lord spared her that pain.
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •Oh.... one last update
My brother is not coming to the service.
He just RSVP'd.
I am trying to be charitable. That means that I'm not trying to judge him or be bitter about it.
It is his choice. I think that it is a poor one, and an abysmal example for his children.
This is difficult for me to accept. Your mother's memorial service is a big deal. So big, that the military would send you home from war to attend it.
As retired military, he can even fly space-A within CONUS.
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •There's no excuse for him not attending. He hasn't contributed even a penny towards her final expenses or the memorial.
I don't know how to feel about this. I want to be angry at him for not loving our mom, but I think my mom would rather have me pray for him because this is pretty indicative of his heart's condition and I know this was a source of anxiety for her. She knows I'm okay and we'll see each other again. But him... not so much. Deep inside, I think she knew his heart was hard.
CeceDuBois
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •Oh, friend, I'm so sorry for your loss. Even when we know it's coming, or it's time, it still hits us head on.
God bless you as you plow through what needs to be done to put your mother at rest. I pray for you, for her, and for your brother.
You are loved and supported here, dear heart. 🙏🕯❤️
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to CeceDuBois • • •@CDuBois
Thank you sister. I receive that.
KathrynK 💯 🇺🇸 🥇🍿
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •I am so very sorry about the loss of your dear mother. 😪🙏🕯 You took such terrific care of her. I'm also so sorry about your brother's behavior.
Prayers of peace and comfort for you and your family.
Love,
Kathryn
CarolEmmarie
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •Defund_Politicians
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •For perspective..
My brother, and our mom are tight... I can't stand her. When she dies I will not attend the service.
We both have very different relationships with her. I do not try to derail my brothers relationship, but I also refuse to pretend we are cool.
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to Defund_Politicians • • •@Defund_Politicians
I am sure you have your reasons for the relationship between you and your mom and I fully support you in establishing your boundaries.
It's a little different for me. My brother is not nice to either of us. He hasn't been his entire life.
I appreciate that you are HONEST about your feelings. My brother is passive- aggressive about his feelings. He would draw my mom close to bludgeon her. For instance, he came into town on a connecting flight and called her.
Defund_Politicians
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •That is not how I play for sure..
Sorry for your pain MMA.
I like you a ton, and hope you get through this quick.
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to Defund_Politicians • • •@Defund_Politicians
Thank you dear.
Just so you know, I'm just like you. I'm fine with not having a relationship with a sibling or a parent. And I respect that my daughter doesn't want one with me, even though I'm hurt by her choice.
I had to tolerate my bro for my mom. And I'm going to honor her by praying for him. But I'm not going to have him in my house. He's done and said some things to me that you wouldn't believe, including punching me in the face when we were teenagers.
Defund_Politicians
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •Well MMA for whatever it's worth..
I am not your family, but I love you..
You are my kind of people.
Hope you get through this fast, and back to living your life.
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to Defund_Politicians • • •@Defund_Politicians
I will make it because y'all are praying me through. My friends have always been more of a family to me than my own.
Thank you for the encouragement and support. It's made all the difference in the world to me.
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •He asked her to come to the airport so he and his (2nd) wife could take her to dinner while he was waiting on his connecting flight.
She eagerly jumped in her car and drove 75 miles to BWI airport. (I refused, because I'm like you, I don't like that mofo, and I won't pretend, so I wouldn't go. )
She gets there and he's waiting alone. She asks where his wife is and he tells her that she's in the lounge. Mom is bewildered and then he tells her that he has to protect her (from my mother).
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •Then he launched into a diatribe about his whole relationship with her and how he offended at how she's hurt his wife because she still keeping a relationship with his first wife (mother of her niece and nephew). My mom is confused, crying and really feeling trashed.
There was no dinner, of course. Mom drove the 75 miles back home from the airport, upset and with a monster headache.
My bro made his point
I've found six such emails in her Gmail from him.... all.on the same theme.
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •I have no issue with not caring for a person in your family. But be up front, be honest, and then be DONE. That isn't what he's doing.
I'm hurt because he's a phony and acts like he wanted to have a relationshipbut not really any of the responsibilitiesthat go with it. His offense and anger is the excuse to justify deliberately shifting all mom's medical expenses onto me when he knows I'm not in the greatest financial situation.
This memorial service is his last act of disdain for her.
Lori ✝️🏡🇺🇸
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •You offered an invitation to participate and to join.
Prayers are all you should give now for your own sanity. Put him out of your mind and let his own conscience rule his future.
God will deal with his naughtiness since that's His domain. Who knows what will happen?
Blessings and love!
🥰💞
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to Lori ✝️🏡🇺🇸 • • •@Lori
Amen sister. I have done right by my mom when she lived with me, and allowed that meat-ax across the threshold to see her... but, no more!
I will not suffer him in my house anymore. My duty and responsibility to care for my mom is ended. Part of caring for her was to get her closer to him because I knew she wanted to see her son more. If we hadn't moved to Texas, he wouldn't have made any effort.
I am in a way glad he won't be at the memorial. It's easier for me.
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •I wanted to share a few pictures of my mom with you.
I found some of them when I was going through her pictures. Some are from my aunt's stash. ( She inherited all the pictures from my grandmother.) Quite a few of these I'd never seen before.
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •Lori ✝️🏡🇺🇸
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •Lino
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to Lino • • •@Lino0876
Yes, love, on the 24th. I was with her. It was hard to watch but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Lino
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to Lino • • •@Lino0876
My belated condolences. I hope it is getting easier to bear. I am still crying a lot, even though I knew it was coming.
Lino
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •CarolEmmarie
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •@Lino0876
Dear friends took us to dinner the night before my mom's funeral.
I'll never forget Linda saying that it'd been 10 years since her mother passed and she STILL could not believe her own mom was gone.
Our moms always will be an integral part of us. Forever.
MMA 🇺🇸💄
in reply to CarolEmmarie • • •@CarolEmmarie @Lino0876
I'm almost done with the video for my mom's service. It's a hodge podge of photos everybody sent to me and ones I found by looking in all of mom's boxes. Plus everything I could grab off my phone.
At first I was going to use the classic Commodore's song "Zoom" for the background music. But I prayed for the perfect song and a memory of a song came to me out of nowhere last night. It's going to be "I Will Remember You" by Amy Grant.
We all will remember our moms.
TXPatriot2021🇨🇱✝ΣΧ🇺🇲
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •@CarolEmmarie @Lino0876
Great choice.
After the service it would be awesome if you posted it here, if you are so inclined.
Rumblestone the Ultra Plebeian
in reply to MMA 🇺🇸💄 • • •