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sharkey - Link to source

@NotImpressed@mas.to @palestine@a.gup.pe Only people that support #genocide give #Israel the benefit of the doubt on *anything*.

NotImpressed

2025-06-11 18:46:17

mastodon - Link to source

#gaza #famine
#GHF #DeathTraps
@palestine

"Israel’s own actions since June 1 have proved that Israeli forces do indeed deliberately fire upon starving civilians seeking humanitarian aid. Israel lied. Again"
"One of the craziest phrases you can possibly utter in the year 2025 is “Let’s give Israel the benefit of the doubt on this one.”"

caitlinjohnstone.com.au/2025/0…



After Denying Massacring Civilians Seeking Aid, Israel Routinely Massacres Civilians Seeking Aid

Israel’s own actions since June 1 have proved that Israeli forces do indeed deliberately fire upon starving civilians seeking humanitarian aid. Israel lied. Again.
Caitlin Johnstone

mastodon - Link to source

libertytree.ca/quotes/Manfred.…

"A family member asked my wife, "Aren't you concerned about his (our son's) socialization with other kids?" My wife gave this response: "Go to your local middle school, junior high, or high school, walk down the hallways, and tell me which behavior you see that you think our son should emulate." "

-- Manfred B. Zysk
German-American engineer and researcher

Quotation by Manfred B. Zysk

"A family member asked my wife, "Aren't you concerned about his (our son's) socialization with other kids?" My wife gave this response: "Go to your local middle school, junior high, or high school, walk down the hallways, and tell me which behavior y…
LibertyQuotes

mastodon - Link to source

libertytree.ca/quotes/Gilbert.…

"What is education? Properly speaking, there is no such thing as education. Education is simply the soul of a society as it passes from one generation to another. Whatever the soul is like, it will have to be passed on somehow, consciously or unconsciously, and that transition may be called education. ... What we need is to have a culture before we hand it down. In other words, it is a truth, however sad and strange, that we cannot give what we have not got, and cannot…

Quotation by Gilbert Keith Chesterton

LibertyQuotes

mastodon - Link to source

Brian Wilson died today.

So did a part of me.

Another root to my childhood has been ripped out. But I know this is not the last, all things must come to an end.

His music has had an enormous impact on me. From my first interest because the songs were fun, to where I am now marveling at his musical genius.

The following is one of my favorite songs. In 3 songs connected together, it spans the Beach Boy era

RIP Brian

I pray that the sand is soft and the surf is up

youtube.com/watch?v=HUx6ID4kgq…


The Beach Boys - California Saga Trilogy - 2022 Edit

This trilogy of songs comes from the newly released collection called "Sail on Sailor 1972 (Super Deluxe Version)," by Capitol Records. It's 105 tracks from ...
YouTube
This entry was edited (2 months ago)
in reply to TXPatriot2021🇨🇱✝ΣΧ🇺🇲

mastodon - Link to source

TXPatriot2021🇨🇱✝ΣΧ🇺🇲

Where he left us.

youtube.com/watch?v=VAmk-Wk2pN…

The really good stuff is in between.


The Beach Boys - That's Why God Made The Radio

Official video for “That’s Why God Made the Radio” performed by The Beach Boys. Follow The Beach Boys: ☀️Facebook: https://facebook.com/TheBeachBoys ☀️Ti...
YouTube
in reply to TXPatriot2021🇨🇱✝ΣΧ🇺🇲

mastodon - Link to source

TXPatriot2021🇨🇱✝ΣΧ🇺🇲

When we get to heaven, we will do it again.

youtube.com/watch?v=N3pt519I1p…


The Beach Boys "Do It Again" on The Ed Sullivan Show

The Beach Boys "Do It Again" remastered in HD on The Ed Sullivan Show on October 13, 1968. Subscribe now to never miss an update: https://ume.lnk.to/EdSulliv...
YouTube

UptownGirl reshared this.

mastodon - Link to source

The Man in #Seat61 seems like a relic from a forgotten age of the #Internet.

Seat61.com is a genuinely useful website created by just one guy, a train travel enthusiast who has curated a vast array of information that will help anyone who would like to travel in #Europe by #train

He is not trying to sell you anything and there are no adverts (apart from a few affiliate ids).

His website has won various "best travel website" awards. Notably the last one was in 2012.

seat61.com/


The Man in Seat 61 - for train travel

How to travel by train in Europe & worldwide: Schedules, fares & how to buy tickets.
www.seat61.com

bridgy-fed - Link to source

Abundance is very near to Australia Labour policy, still feasible under its resources & election system. The tiniest hint of taxing multimillionaire pension pots windfalls results in so much Murdoch & commercial media resentment that it's abandoned...?
RE: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:p5yoi…

ryan cooper

2025-06-11 12:41:17

bridgy-fed - Link to source

this is just obviously true. the point is to put tons of donor money behind a liberal-coded agenda that tacitly rules out taxing the rich, attacking corporations, or building out the welfare state www.peoplespolicyproject.org/2025/06/09/a...
At the very least, the general orientation of Abundance — which is to de-emphasize redistributionism and anti-corporatism in favor of innovation and growth (“Abundance reorients politics around a fresh provocation: Can we solve our problems with supply?“) — has explosive growth potential in the precise channels it is targeting. A significant number of rich people, especially in the tech world, really do love to hear this and want to give money to it. A lot of moderate politicians really are looking for things that aren’t just about the welfare state or bashing business as they believe both things turn off key voters and also make it harder for them to raise campaign funds. And a lot of the popular media people they want to recruit live in high-cost cities where some of the Abundist themes around housing in particular are personally resonant.

Abundance Has a Theory of Power

I don't know why this is being so obfuscated.
People's Policy Project

bridgy-fed - Link to source

good piece from @jeffhauser.bsky.social. it is maddening that so much discourse ignores that Kamala Harris ran precisely the campaign the "popularist" crowd wanted prospect.org/politics/202...

WelcomeFest Wants Politicians ...


WelcomeFest Wants Politicians Who Choose to Believe in Nothing

At centrism’s largest gathering, what was offered as the best path forward for Democrats is what sank their 2024 chances.
Jeff Hauser (The American Prospect)

mastodon - Link to source

libertytree.ca/quotes/Frank.Kn…

"Knowledge is more a matter of learning than of the exercise of absolute judgment. Learning requires time, and in time the situation dealt with, as well as the learner, undergoes change."

-- Frank H. Knight
(1885-1972) American economist
Source: Risk, Uncertainty, and Profit par. III.VIII.15

Quotation by Frank H. Knight

"Knowledge is more a matter of learning than of the exercise of absolute judgment. Learning requires time, and in time the situation dealt with, as well as the learner, undergoes change." ~ Frank H. Knight
LibertyQuotes

sharkey - Link to source
Being #woke is being #American.
Being #woke is being a good human being.
People who are #anti-woke are #UnAmerican.
People who are #anti-woke are not good human beings.
#FuckMaga. #FuckMusk. #FuckTrump.
[size=small][size=small]#USpol #Trump #Musk #MAGA #DEIA #LGBTQ+ #LGBT #LGBTQ #BLM #TransWomenAreWomen #TransMenAreMen[/size][/size]
politico.com/news/2025/06/07/g…

mastodon - Link to source

ICE agents mistakenly detain U.S. marshal in Arizona

The deputy marshal was detained because he "fit the general description of a subject being sought by ICE," according to the U.S. Marshals Service.
nbcnews.com/news/us-news/ice-m…


ICE agents mistakenly detain U.S. marshal in Arizona

A U.S. Marshal was mistakenly detained by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents in Arizona.
Mirna Alsharif (NBC News)
Unknown parent

mastodon - Link to source

benda

@bob yeah comrade they aint concerned with nazis and fash. they just don't like the color red.
"new axis"... tf is that? the only axis has always been empire and capital.
some fucking rachel maddow world history over here.

mastodon - Link to source

A Chinese state-owned company began construction of a solar power plant in Nicaragua on June 6, 2025.

The project will be the largest green solar power plant in Nicaragua.

The solar power plant, located in the municipality of Nindirí, Masaya, will have an installed capacity of 70 megawatts and include 112,700 high-tech photovoltaic panels.

The main function of the solar power plant will be to provide clean energy for sanitation and water services in Nicaragua.

fundacionandresbello.org/en/ne…


Chinese company begins construction of a solar plant in Nicaragua - Fundación Andrés Bello | China Latinoamerica

The Chinese company Communications Construction Company Limited began construction of a solar plant in Nicaragua.
Fundación Andrés Bello (Fundación Andrés Bello | China Latinoamerica)

diaspora - Link to source

taz (inoffiziell)

2025-06-11 18:26:38

friendica - Link to source

Neuer Waldzustandsbericht: Vier von fünf Bäumen geht es schlecht


Trockenstress, Erderhitzung, Insekten – das alles setzt dem Bestand zu. Denn die Anpassung an die neuen Anforderungen ist gar nicht so einfach.
Neuer Waldzustandsbericht: Vier von fünf Bäumen geht es schlecht


mastodon - Link to source

Well, guess I wasn't actually familiar with this album before, but I am fixing that now. Like, holy moly, it might be my favourite? Pretty sure you can hear the birth of Prince from "Frisky" alone. :ablobjam:

Sly and the Family Stone - Fresh (1973)

album.link/ca/i/216546627


Fresh (Bonus Version) by Sly & The Family Stone

Listen now on your favorite streaming service. Powered by Songlink/Odesli, an on-demand, customizable smart link service to help you share songs, albums, podcasts and more.
Songlink/Odesli

mastodon - Link to source

Meta is under investigation for a privacy violation called "localhost tracking." This process allowed Meta to link users' real identities to their web browsing activity, even if they used VPNs, incognito mode, and deleted cookies.

The process involves the Facebook or Instagram app listening for incoming traffic on local network ports and exchanging information with Meta's tracking scripts in users' web browsers.

zeropartydata.es/p/localhost-t…

#privacy


“Localhost tracking” explained. It could cost Meta 32 billion.

You just can't finish off Zuckerberg.
Jorge García Herrero (Zero Party Data)

plume - Link to source

Crane Longevity: OEM vs. Third-Party Parts Debate


 Scheduled servicing keeps your crane in the game. The parts you choose—OEM or third-party—shape its future. While OEM parts deliver reliability, third-party options can save costs if chosen carefully. Work with a supplier who knows your equipment and prio

Regular maintenance is the foundation of crane reliability, preventing costly downtime and safety risks. But when it's time to replace worn parts, the decision between OEM and third-party options sparks debate. It's about more than cost—it's about keeping your crane on the job.

Why Scheduled Servicing Is Non-Negotiable


Every crane, including Tadano models, follows a maintenance schedule based on usage or wear. Over time, components like filters, seals, and structural parts degrade. Skipping these intervals lets small issues escalate into project-stopping failures. The real question is which parts to use during servicing.

The Case for OEM Parts


OEM parts come from the crane's original manufacturer. They're built to precise specs, ensuring seamless integration and reliable performance. Tested to handle your crane's specific conditions, they reduce the chance of breakdowns and typically protect your warranty.

The downside is cost—OEM parts are often more expensive. Availability can also be an issue, especially for older models, leading to potential delays.

Third-Party Parts: A Mixed Bag


Third-party parts are attractive for their affordability and quicker delivery. Some aftermarket options are well-engineered, rivaling OEM quality at a lower price. But quality varies widely. Poorly made parts may fit incorrectly, wear out fast, or cause damage to other systems. They could also void your warranty.

For non-essential components like filters, a reputable third-party part might be fine. But for critical systems, caution is crucial.

Tadano Cranes Demand High Standards


Tadano cranes are known for their durability and precision, but only if maintained properly. High-pressure systems like hydraulics, electronics, or load-bearing components require parts that meet strict standards. Parts designed for these demands ensure safety and performance.

For less critical parts, a vetted third-party option could work, but only from a trusted source.

Partnering with a Parts Supplier


A reliable supplier is your ally in making smart choices. They understand your crane, can recommend when third-party parts are viable, and ensure fast delivery to minimize downtime. They'll also clarify the risks of each option.

Suppliers who push parts without context or can't verify compatibility are a liability. Choose a supplier who values your operation's success.

Closing Thoughts


Scheduled servicing keeps your crane in the game. The parts you choose—OEM or third-party—shape its future. While OEM Tadano crane parts deliver reliability, third-party options can save costs if chosen carefully. Work with a supplier who knows your equipment and prioritizes quality.

Ask the tough questions: Is this part reliable? What's the risk? A little care today prevents major headaches tomorrow.

Tadano Crane Parts Supplies - HL Equipment

Buy genuine Tadano Crane Parts products for your Tadano cranes here. HL Equipment provide quality crane parts globally. Call us for inquiry.
www.crane-spares.com

mastodon - Link to source

Three years ago I wrote about how we may be slowly coming to understand that progress isn't inevitable and things may actually be trending downward on multiple fronts: alfiekohn.org/blogs/regress/.

Now comes strong evidence that this is particularly true regarding trends in attitudes about gender roles: nytimes.com/2025/06/04/opinion…. Some truly disturbing polling data here.

When the Myth of Progress Unravels - Alfie Kohn

May 16, 2022 When the Myth of Progress Unravels By Alfie Kohn The arc of history is long, but it bends toward catastrophic annihilation.              — Barbara Ehrenreich   The fact that five religious Supreme…
Alfie Kohn

mastodon - Link to source

Arriving in DC for the parade:

youtube.com/watch?v=sm-p7fSWKd…

youtube.com/shorts/xW4ra6QSRqc

youtube.com/shorts/EeF_yOM1c8k

youtube.com/shorts/pJf1fz_gxw8


Armored tanks arrive in DC for Trump's military birthday parade

As Washington, D.C. prepares for the 250th anniversary of the U.S. Army, armored tanks have begun to arrive ahead of Saturday's celebration.#DonaldTrump #Arm...
YouTube

mastodon - Link to source

#Alerta Neo-nazi Ryan Sanchez was apparently on the ground in LA yesterday with a crew, infiltrating protests and taking people's pictures. He also had a knife with him. (See first link below)

Sanchez is a (former?) member of Patriot Front and a (definitely former) member of neo-nazi fight club Rise Above Movement (RAM), which was sort of the precursor to and model for today's "active clubs". (See second link below)

bsky.app/profile/jtischauser.b…

leftcoastrightwatch.org/articl…

#PatriotFront #RiseAboveMovement #RAM #RyanSanchez #LA


HERE’S THE NAZIS WHO TOPPLED THAT MONOLITH | Left Coast Right Watch

THE MONOLITH “Christ is king in this country. We don’t want illegal aliens from Mexico or outer space!” Ryan Sanchez shouted to his viewers online.
leftcoastrightwatch.org

ghost - Link to source

Wikipedia Pauses AI-Generated Summaries After Editor Backlash


 “This would do immediate and irreversible harm to our readers and to our reputation as a decently trustworthy and serious source,” one Wikipedia editor said.

The Wikimedia Foundation, the nonprofit organization which hosts and develops Wikipedia, has paused an experiment that showed users AI-generated summaries at the top of articles after an overwhelmingly negative reaction from the Wikipedia editors community.

“Just because Google has rolled out its AI summaries doesn't mean we need to one-up them, I sincerely beg you not to test this, on mobile or anywhere else,” one editor said in response to Wikimedia Foundation’s announcement that it will launch a two-week trial of the summaries on the mobile version of Wikipedia. “This would do immediate and irreversible harm to our readers and to our reputation as a decently trustworthy and serious source. Wikipedia has in some ways become a byword for sober boringness, which is excellent. Let's not insult our readers' intelligence and join the stampede to roll out flashy AI summaries. Which is what these are, although here the word ‘machine-generated’ is used instead.”

Two other editors simply commented, “Yuck.”

For years, Wikipedia has been one of the most valuable repositories of information in the world, and a laudable model for community-based, democratic internet platform governance. Its importance has only grown in the last couple of years during the generative AI boom as it’s one of the only internet platforms that has not been significantly degraded by the flood of AI-generated slop and misinformation. As opposed to Google, which since embracing generative AI has instructed its users to eat glue, Wikipedia’s community has kept its articles relatively high quality. As I recently reported last year, editors are actively working to filter out bad, AI-generated content from Wikipedia.

A page detailing the the AI-generated summaries project, called “Simple Article Summaries,” explains that it was proposed after a discussion at Wikimedia’s 2024 conference, Wikimania, where “Wikimedians discussed ways that AI/machine-generated remixing of the already created content can be used to make Wikipedia more accessible and easier to learn from.” Editors who participated in the discussion thought that these summaries could improve the learning experience on Wikipedia, where some article summaries can be quite dense and filled with technical jargon, but that AI features needed to be cleared labeled as such and that users needed an easy to way to flag issues with “machine-generated/remixed content once it was published or generated automatically.”

In one experiment where summaries were enabled for users who have the Wikipedia browser extension installed, the generated summary showed up at the top of the article, which users had to click to expand and read. That summary was also flagged with a yellow “unverified” label.
An example of what the AI-generated summary looked like.
Wikimedia announced that it was going to run the generated summaries experiment on June 2, and was immediately met with dozens of replies from editors who said “very bad idea,” “strongest possible oppose,” Absolutely not,” etc.

“Yes, human editors can introduce reliability and NPOV [neutral point-of-view] issues. But as a collective mass, it evens out into a beautiful corpus,” one editor said. “With Simple Article Summaries, you propose giving one singular editor with known reliability and NPOV issues a platform at the very top of any given article, whilst giving zero editorial control to others. It reinforces the idea that Wikipedia cannot be relied on, destroying a decade of policy work. It reinforces the belief that unsourced, charged content can be added, because this platforms it. I don't think I would feel comfortable contributing to an encyclopedia like this. No other community has mastered collaboration to such a wondrous extent, and this would throw that away.”

A day later, Wikimedia announced that it would pause the launch of the experiment, but indicated that it’s still interested in AI-generated summaries.

“The Wikimedia Foundation has been exploring ways to make Wikipedia and other Wikimedia projects more accessible to readers globally,” a Wikimedia Foundation spokesperson told me in an email. “This two-week, opt-in experiment was focused on making complex Wikipedia articles more accessible to people with different reading levels. For the purposes of this experiment, the summaries were generated by an open-weight Aya model by Cohere. It was meant to gauge interest in a feature like this, and to help us think about the right kind of community moderation systems to ensure humans remain central to deciding what information is shown on Wikipedia.”

“It is common to receive a variety of feedback from volunteers, and we incorporate it in our decisions, and sometimes change course,” the Wikimedia Foundation spokesperson added. “We welcome such thoughtful feedback — this is what continues to make Wikipedia a truly collaborative platform of human knowledge.”

“Reading through the comments, it’s clear we could have done a better job introducing this idea and opening up the conversation here on VPT back in March,” a Wikimedia Foundation project manager said. VPT, or “village pump technical,” is where The Wikimedia Foundation and the community discuss technical aspects of the platform. “As internet usage changes over time, we are trying to discover new ways to help new generations learn from Wikipedia to sustain our movement into the future. In consequence, we need to figure out how we can experiment in safe ways that are appropriate for readers and the Wikimedia community. Looking back, we realize the next step with this message should have been to provide more of that context for you all and to make the space for folks to engage further.”

The project manager also said that “Bringing generative AI into the Wikipedia reading experience is a serious set of decisions, with important implications, and we intend to treat it as such, and that “We do not have any plans for bringing a summary feature to the wikis without editor involvement. An editor moderation workflow is required under any circumstances, both for this idea, as well as any future idea around AI summarized or adapted content.”

The Editors Protecting Wikipedia from AI Hoaxes

WikiProject AI Cleanup is protecting Wikipedia from the same kind of misleading AI-generated information that has plagued the rest of the internet.
Emanuel Maiberg (404 Media)

mastodon - Link to source
A few weeks back I read on Mastodon that the US Dept of Health and Human Services was getting rid of COVID tests. This is bad for all the reasons, but some enterprising government employee did a program where you could fill out a form and get anywhere from 300-3000 COVID tests (unexpired) sent to your home. I figured why not try? Last week I got seven boxes of COVID tests delivered to my porch. I posted to a local mailing list and I am getting them pointed towards my community. Thanks Mastodon!
My front porch with five bags and two larger boxes which all have people's names written on them in big block letters. The bags contain COVID tests.
a bench inside my house with seven large boxes full of COVID tests. They say "intelliswab" on the side of them and are stacked tightly but still take up a lot of room.

mastodon - Link to source

This is a great example of how historical path-dependence has borked Canada. This savvy innovation is only workable with district heating, a collectivist infrastructure from the past. Now, that history of collectivism is allowing flexibility in unanticipated circumstances (climate change) which we cannot match, constrained as we are by our past choices.

World’s biggest sand battery to heat Finnish town without fossil fuels
thenextweb.com/news/worlds-big…


World’s biggest sand battery to heat Finnish town without fossil fuels

A small town in Finland is about to ditch fossil fuels in its heating network thanks to a sand-filled energy storage tank the size of a house. Finnish startup Polar Night Energy ...
Siôn Geschwindt (The Next Web)

mastodon - Link to source

A very interesting analysis of Monday's anti-ICE protest in #Austin. I especially am interested that protesters used micromobility scooters as a makeshift barricade.

(I do wish Crimethinc would give credit for the photos they borrow from other sources)

CrimethInc. : Melt #ICE, Be Water : Report-back from a Hot Summer Demonstration in Austin, #Texas
crimethinc.com/2025/06/11/melt…

#activism #politics #USpol #news


Melt ICE, Be Water

Participants in a fierce demonstration against ICE in Austin, Texas describe how they escaped the control of party organizers and police.
CrimethInc.

threads - Link to source
The board overseeing the Fulbright program, the prestigious exchanges between US and foreign scholars, quit on Wednesday, accusing President Donald Trump's administration of political interference. tag24.com/politics/politicians…
#Fulbright

Entire Fulbright board quits over Trump's political interference

The board overseeing the Fulbright program quit on Wednesday, accusing President Donald Trump's administration of political interference.
TAG24 NEWS USA INC

bridgy-fed - Link to source
LAPD shoot US woman with a rubber bullet for trying to get into her home, they were blocking her entrance and there was no protest in sight. “Holy fuck — They literally just shot her point blank… I live here…” ( www.tiktok.com/@labyrinthlore) #3E #StopICE

TikTok - Make Your Day

www.tiktok.com

benda reshared this.

mastodon - Link to source

This is big deal.

truthsocial.com/@MJTruth/posts…

rumble.com/v6unj1f-robert-malo…

Truth Social

Truth Social is America's "Big Tent" social media platform that encourages an open, free, and honest global conversation without discriminating on the basis of political ideology.
Truth Social

unkn - Link to source

Reason 666 Why US Health Care Is So Fucked: The Testing Obsession!

Day after Christmas, known as Boxing Day to folks in the British Commonwealth, I called my cardiologist’s office to report some issues I’d had during the previous week.

  1. After riding a stationary bike for 20-30 minutes last Saturday the 21st, I started feeling like I was going to have a heart attack.
  2. That I am perpetually fatigued. Simple things like doing the dishes, cooking, and carrying in a couple bags of groceries are leaving me exhausted.

So the receptionist dutifully notes down my issues. “We’ll have our triage person get back to you.” An hour or so later, I get a call from someone in scheduling. “Your doctor says you need to go to the hospital.” Of course, I’m thinking this is complete and utter bullshit, because that day I was feeling just fine. Same for the day before. But we (GF and I) talked ourselves into going to the ER anyway.

They ran a bunch of tests on me. “Your heartrate is normal. Blood pressure is worryingly low.” I didn’t think to mention that I’d popped some xanax before heading to the ER; that might have explained the low BP. I did a bunch of sleeping. At some point, my girlfriend wakes me up. “They want to hold you for observation and do a bunch of tests on you, including a CT scan on your brain.” And I’m like what the actual fuck? Brain? Whut?

The reasoning is that maybe my low blood pressure was due to a brain tumor. Maybe it is, but realize, I have a heart condition that is basically terminal. The last thing I care about is whether I have a brain tumor to go along with it. Metaphorically, suppose I was eating a slice of birthday cake made from rat faeces laden with hanta virus. Am I actually going to give a shit that the chef used some plutonium in the icing? Nope.

I’m a huge believer in science, though I think the obsession with medical testing is harmful to science. Hell, this is pretty much true of all data. We’ve got data. We have so much data that it’s coming out of our ears and assholes. What we don’t have enough of is logic, intuition, and critical thinking.

Worth mentioning that while I was in the ER, I got myself a referral to hospice, so I’m on hospice now. Hopefully I can live out the next months, years, weeks, days, or whatever I have left in some degree of comfort without playing this revolving door hospital game.

unkn - Link to source

Medical Aid in Dying, My Health, and so on

I’ll start at the end, because that’s the most important part. Later this month, I’m obtaining medical aid in dying AKA death with dignity. Barring unforeseen circumstances or unexpected changes, my last day on earth will be June 13th, 2025. Realize that I’m just over 46 years old. So how the hell did we get here? I’ve written part of the story in dribs and drabs over the years, so I may as well write up the whole thing.

Late on the night of November 14th, 2021, I went to the local emergency room. I had a blood pressure of 55/37 and a pulse of 220. I had a heart attack at some point. I’m not quite sure when that happened. They admitted me for a hospital stay.

One of the first things they did was an arteriogram, and they found blockage in one artery. They thought they would be able to treat it with stent placement during the procedure, but it was too severe for that. They had a surgeon consult with me about doing an open heart procedure. It would be a single bypass. If I refused the procedure, my life expectancy would be about 4 and a half years. So it seemed reasonable to go ahead with it.

On Thursday, I went in for surgery. It was miserable, but I survived it. By Monday afternoon, I had recovered sufficiently to be released from the hospital, so I went home and finished the recovery process there.

During my hospital stay, I was also diagnosed with heart failure with reduced ejection fraction. My ejection fraction was between 25 and 30 percent. They told me that they would probably want to place an ICD (implantable cardioverter defibrillator) if my ejection fraction didn’t improve. It never really did. The best it got was 30 to 35 percent. So in February of 2023 I went in for an out patient stay to have a subcutaneous implantable cardioverter defibrillator (SICD) placed.

Fastforward a few months. I’m sitting in my recliner, eating some plantain chips, when all of a sudden, I got shocked. I jumped and screamed. Still, it only happened once, and I’m thinking: this is no big deal. A few weeks later, in August, I received another shock. It only happened once, so again, I’m like “no big deal.”

On September 11th, the situation changed. I felt “off” all evening. I was shocked once, and I kept feeling like another one was coming. So I went to the ER. My ICD device fired while I was on the ambulance and when I was being wheeled into the ER. They kept me for a couple days, ran some tests, told me to follow up with cardiology, and sent me home.

A week later, I was back in the ER with the same complaint. I don’t remember whether there were multiple shocks. The same thing happened: they kept me for a couple days to make sure I was stable, ran some tests, sent me home, and told me to follow up with cardiology.

On the first Friday of October, I kept feeling “off”, as though I was going to have a heart episode. The device didn’t fire, but I went to the ER anyway. When I was in the ambulance, they told me that I was in VTac (ventricular tachycardia), and they shocked me. I was shocked several times by hospital staff while they tried to get me stable. This time was a little different. The cardiac electrophysiologist decided that it was time to do a cardiac ablation. They performed that procedure on the following Monday or Tuesday, and I went home in the middle of the week.

Things seemed ok for the next couple of months. Then, on the night of February 1, 2024, I started receiving more shocks from the ICD. I went back to the ER. That night, my ICD shocked me at least seventeen times, and I was also shocked several additional times by paramedics and ER staff. If you’ve ever taken a physical beating that has left you sore for days, you know exactly what I went through that night. I took a beating or two of that sort when I was younger, and that’s exactly how being shocked more than twenty times felt. Every movement of my upper body hurt for the next several days, including just shifting around in bed. The day after I landed in the emergency room, they sent me to a much larger university hospital in Portland. That hospital stabilized me, switched out my ICD for another device, and sent me home a couple days later.

I spent the next few months in a state of total mental paralysis that I suspect was some kind of PTSD. I kept feeling like I was going to have heart episodes and waiting for the next shock. The new device they placed when I was in Portland had some pacing functionality, so I’m pretty sure I avoided some shocks. When I saw my cardiologist in the summer of 2024, she told me that the pacing functionality barely succeeded keeping me out of a round of shocks. She and her boss wanted to do another cardiac ablation.

At this point, I started wondering just how much life I had left. I bluntly asked for an estimation of my life expectancy and was told maybe ten years with the ablation and the defibrillator. The point of the ablation was to act as a “band-aid”, to calm the heart and hopefully keep me out of the emergency room and from being shocked repeatedly. I agreed to yet another procedure, and it was done in late August.

Less than a month later, I received multiple shocks from the ICD. I went back to the ER. I was shocked at least nine times that night. They stabilized me, kept me for a couple days, and told me to follow up with cardiology.

So I followed up with cardiology. And I bluntly asked the life expectancy question again. “Obviously, the cardiac ablation did not work. How much life would you estimate that I have left?” “Maybe two years, but I honestly don’t know.” At that point, I asked them to disable the defibrillator. I was tired of getting multiple shocks and not knowing when they would come, tired of landing in the ER. Realize that in one year, I had ended up in the ER and hospital 5 times for the exact same problem. My prognosis without the defibrillator was a few months.

But at first, I wasn’t going to let it stop me. In December, I started a cardiac exercise program. Basically, they monitored my heart while I exercised. That went well for a few days. Then one day, my blood pressure bottomed out and my heart rate spiked during a session. During the next session, I felt “off” afterward. A couple days before Christmas, I was riding my stationary bike at home for a while. At some point, I started feeling like I was about to have a VTac episode, so I stopped. I spent the next few hours in agony, until I was finally able to sleep.

It gets worse. At this point, even doing trivial tasks became a burden. I’d start having heart palpitations and become winded while bringing in a couple bags of groceries or doing the dishes. This part of the story is told more completely in an older post: Reason 666 Why US Health Care Is So Fucked: The Testing Obsession!.

I’m basically terminally ill. I got a referral to hospice, and I’ve been on that program for several months. I still have heart episodes. I can back them off with morphein, which I use very judiciously. But I expect that at any time, I could have an episode strong enough to land me back in the ER. At that point, I’d most likely just die naturally.

I am afraid to so much as go for a walk, because the last thing I want is to die in the middle of the sidewalk, or worse, be discovered by paramedics and accidentally receive medical intervention.

A while ago, I started investigating Oregon’s Death with Dignity program. Not because I want to die. I don’t. But I’d rather die in a controlled manner than die in pain and be found unresponsive in the middle of my floor by my girlfriend. I want to live, but I’m strongly opposed to my few remaining possibilities for medical treatment (I’ll get to that in a moment). No, I am not a burden to my family. They’re glad to care for me. In fact, it is going to be bad for them when I’m gone. Especially in this hellworld that the US has become under a second Trump Presidency with a stacked Congress and Supreme Court, as well as a crazed billionaire and his wrecking crew actively destroying the government. I’m sad to leave them, and I worry about how they’ll make it without me. I’m angry that I have severe heart failure that started when I was in my early forties. I’m too young for this, but here we are, and here is what I’ve chosen.

So let’s talk about my scant options for treatment. I could have my defibrillator reactivated, and maybe have a couple more years. If I do that, I expect many more ER visits and more painful and unpredictable shocks. I already said no to that. Another slim possibility is a heart transplant. I am not interested. I’ve explained my reasons more fully to people who are close to me, but they basically boil down to the fact that an organ transplant requires a full commitment to the process, and I’m not willing to make that commitment.

A few months ago, a friend sent me a link to a university doing clinical trials using stem cells to repair the heart. It seemed really promising. Unfortunately, they are in Germany, and they only accept German residents. So that wasn’t an option.

So anyway here I am, planning for my upcoming death. And I don’t have enough nice things to say about this process. At every point, the choice is entirely mine. From the beginning of the process all the way until I consume the cocktail of meds that will end my life, I can decide not to proceed, or I can decide to wait to fill the prescription, or whatever. This is my choice all the way.

As it was put to me: “Chris, you’re dying of heart disease. You can choose to just let it naturally run its course. Or you can choose a controlled exit. Either way, if you choose medical aid or you choose to let it run its course, you’re dying.”

chris

2024-12-31 06:31:42

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Reason 666 Why US Health Care Is So Fucked: The Testing Obsession!


Day after Christmas, known as Boxing Day to folks in the British Commonwealth, I called my cardiologist’s office to report some issues I’d had during the previous week.

  1. After riding a stationary bike for 20-30 minutes last Saturday the 21st, I started feeling like I was going to have a heart attack.
  2. That I am perpetually fatigued. Simple things like doing the dishes, cooking, and carrying in a couple bags of groceries are leaving me exhausted.

So the receptionist dutifully notes down my issues. “We’ll have our triage person get back to you.” An hour or so later, I get a call from someone in scheduling. “Your doctor says you need to go to the hospital.” Of course, I’m thinking this is complete and utter bullshit, because that day I was feeling just fine. Same for the day before. But we (GF and I) talked ourselves into going to the ER anyway.

They ran a bunch of tests on me. “Your heartrate is normal. Blood pressure is worryingly low.” I didn’t think to mention that I’d popped some xanax before heading to the ER; that might have explained the low BP. I did a bunch of sleeping. At some point, my girlfriend wakes me up. “They want to hold you for observation and do a bunch of tests on you, including a CT scan on your brain.” And I’m like what the actual fuck? Brain? Whut?

The reasoning is that maybe my low blood pressure was due to a brain tumor. Maybe it is, but realize, I have a heart condition that is basically terminal. The last thing I care about is whether I have a brain tumor to go along with it. Metaphorically, suppose I was eating a slice of birthday cake made from rat faeces laden with hanta virus. Am I actually going to give a shit that the chef used some plutonium in the icing? Nope.

I’m a huge believer in science, though I think the obsession with medical testing is harmful to science. Hell, this is pretty much true of all data. We’ve got data. We have so much data that it’s coming out of our ears and assholes. What we don’t have enough of is logic, intuition, and critical thinking.

Worth mentioning that while I was in the ER, I got myself a referral to hospice, so I’m on hospice now. Hopefully I can live out the next months, years, weeks, days, or whatever I have left in some degree of comfort without playing this revolving door hospital game.


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